Simone: We’ve been talking about allyship a lot, and a lot of people assume that, when I talk about allyship, it’s just about racism, or it’s about the LGBTQ+ community, or it’s about this one thing or another.
I even had people asking me, “Is this class only for white people?”
Rashida:: Because white people are the only people who are privileged, right? (/sarcasm)
Simone: Right! So let’s unpack that.
Rashida: Well, allyship is about finding solidarity with your fellow human, and it literally just doesn’t matter who they are or what group they belong to. Because as humans, we’re multifaceted. We’re not monolithic, and most of us have some sort of intersectionality.
What our brains like to do is to complicate simple things. And allyship is actually quite simple: treat people the way you want to be treated. That’s really it.
There’s not just one group of people who are experiencing oppression. There are places in your life where you are having an easier time than others, and so that is where you can show up.
Don’ try to start at your local NAACP or your local gay bar! It starts with your community. Where do you see the need? Are the children hungry? Are the unhoused being treated fairly?
Simone: You know, I’m not sorry to speak so much about racism and call out where white supremacy is doing harm. I’m not sorry to put a huge emphasis on that, because it’s important. However, I do think it’s unfortunate that allyship has gotten linked up with only that, because — yeah, obviously, systems of oppression exist. They affect us.
But it’s also like, if you’re walking down the street and you see someone fall down and hurt themselves, and you are like, “Are you okay? Can I help you up? Do you need me to get help?” That’s allyship.
Rashida: Yes!
Simone: And that has nothing to do with race. That person can be the same race as you, the same gender as you.
Rashida: Literally has nothing to do with anything other than you are on your feet and the person in front of you is not, and you’re going to help them get back on their feet.
Look. Nobody is going to leave this class with the cure to racism.
Simone: Aw, really? I was going to use that as a marketing point! LOL (/sarcasm)
Rashida: If we find that cure, we are going to market the heck out of it. But right now, we don’t have it. We’re not going to find a cure to any sort of oppression that exists in the world.
What we will walk away with are tools that help us to be more self aware, so we know how to help our fellow human.
We’ve already established that people of color need help. LGBTQ+ community can use some assistance, especially from straight, cis people. But that isn’t the only place.
We’re talking about human-to-human interaction. And I think that makes it so much more simple and easy to digest. You don’t have to take on “the world”. You take on your world.
Simone: One of the things that you talk about in the free introductory class (which – have you downloaded it yet?), called Sustainable Allyship 101 is, you say, “I’m a black woman who is short, so I’m obviously not the paragon of unearned advantages in America. But also, I am cisgender, I am heterosexual, and I was raised Christian.”
We also talk about: do you speak English? Great. You speak the most dominant language in the world, and non-English speakers are at a huge disadvantage in the world because they don’t get to make their oppression be heard by people with the most power in the world.
Are you a US citizen? Are you a UK citizen? Are you a citizen in a country where the fact that you hold citizenship gives you a lot of advantages that aren’t afforded to other people who don’t? These are all places where we can share our resources.
Rashida: That’s it. That’s it. There’s no need to overcomplicate it, because when we feel like things are overwhelming, we tend to stay still.
Simone: Implicitly, that’s how I think a lot of people feel. If I’m a white person, I have to go and be the person who fixes racism for all of us. Or if I’m a man, I have to be the one who solves sexism. No! You are relieved of that responsibility!
Rashida: Yeah, let it go! You don’t have to hold on to that.
I think that recognizing your own world is so important because the world at large is overwhelming. Oh, Lord, is that going to happen in our country in a month or two? I was literally on the phone with a friend, and I was like, “You know what? I’m going back to my delusion. Everything’s fine. My world is right here, and I’m going to do what I can in my world.”
And those small things make a big difference. And it’s actually not small. It just seems small because it isn’t “the world”. But why in the world are we trying to take on “the world”? Why do we feel like we can do that?
Simone: I don’t know why. Yeah, I have to confess, I am affected by that. That bug bites me sometimes, where I’m like, “Oh, I feel like a horrible person because I haven’t solved genocide.”
Rashida: All by yourself, all in your brilliant mind, right?
Simone: I’m curious about your thoughts on this. What do you think about the encapsulation of allyship being: being the neighbor that you want to have?
Rashida: Absolutely. Be a good neighbor to your literal neighbor.
My neighbor raises chickens. She heard on the news that eggs were expensive, so whenever we want eggs, she is happy to give us eggs for free. When she’s out of town, we watch her house. When we’re out of town, she watches our house. That’s neighbor stuff. We’re making her life easier, and she’s making our life easier.
Simone: Where can I find a neighbor who has chickens?
And even if you don’t have chickens, what do you have a surplus of? Because you need your own to survive. Like your neighbor needs to have eggs for themselves, but when you have “extra” of something, you can share with others.
I have a surplus of material stuff. I live in an air conditioned and heated house and – you know – a fridge full of food at 24/7. And even on top of that, I have money in the bank! So where can I be of help with the extra that I have?
And it’s not just material, right? When your friend is feeling down, you might have a surplus of emotional resources, and you can be of support to them. That’s being a good neighbor.
And if you don’t have a surplus of stuff, then you take care of yourself.
Rashida: Absolutely. I know that I’ve heard people talk about allyship and say: “I don’t want an ally. I want someone who’s going to walk alongside me, knowing that we are not different.”
But the thing is, we are different, and so I think it’s really important to respect that, not only are we different in our group identifications, but we’re different as individuals.
Simone: I want to slow down here, because I don’t think people quite understand how important this is.
Let’s say a black person says, “I don’t want an ally who’s over there and thinking they’re helping me from over there. I want someone who’s going to fight the fight with me on the front line, next to me.” And that is entirely understandable.
But even if they’re linking arm-to-arm with you and walking next to you on the front line, their experience is different from your experience. And the consequences they face are going to be different from what you face.
Rashida: It’s important to respect those differences and to celebrate them, because that’s how we bring different strengths to the table. We are different, but that doesn’t mean we can’t work together. It doesn’t mean that we can’t have the same goal. We’re just approaching it differently.
Simone: Each of us can bring our own differences to the table: our own gifts, our own talents, whatever our own “surplus” happens to be. Who lacks resources that I have? Who could benefit from my surplus? That is how we make our own corner of the world better — my community, my home.
And nobody is fixing racism!
Rashida: Right. God bless you. But maybe if we do a lot of small things together, one day, that’s what will happen. But right now, this moment, let’s just bring our expectations down a little bit.
Simone: So this class, our upcoming class is for you if you’re white, if you’re brown, if you’re black, if you’re purple. It is for everyone who wants to learn how to treat other people the way you would want to be treated.
Rashida: By the way, this is how you feel empowered in your own life, and not powerless. Because I know a lot of people are feeling powerless and angry, and ask: “what do I do with this rage?” This is going to help you with that.
Simone: I think that’s why, if you’re a person of color, or a member of a marginalized community, you especially shouldn’t miss this class.
Even if you experience a lot of marginalization, this class will help you to locate your power where you are powerful, and to be able to use that for good. And I promise you, we will help you find those. And you’re going to just feel better.
Rashida: I really want everyone to get that free ebook, because it’s going to set you up. It’s a workbook, so you get to work some stuff out. And it’s literally the training that I do for folks here in Indianapolis. I have been doing it since before the pandemic. It’s tried and true, and really wonderful. And it’s going to set you up very nicely for Thursday.
Simone: It is really the perfect preparation you can do for the deeper level of conversation we’re going to have on Thursday.
And if you don’t have the means to participate in the paid class, the free book is going to give you so much good stuff to work with.
And the recording of the paid class is going to be available for sale, even after the live class so there’s no rush if you’re feeling stretched, yeah.
Okay everyone. Rashida and I’ll be back. Thank you for joining us.
If you want to listen to the full, unedited version of our conversation, you can watch the Instagram Live that this transcript was taken from.
Sign up for our class on December 5th and 12th: Practical Allyship for Life and Business.
If you’re reading past that date, you can grab the recordings.