Here for humans who want to human more humanely.
Simone Seol
Here for humans who want to human more humanely.
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Asian heritage and business
No one taught me how important my Asian ancestral heritage was in helping me be good at business.
I had to figure it out on my own. And here’s what I figured out.
I am thankful for my Confucian heritage.
It instilled in me one of the most defining values I hold, which has been passed down in my family: education is the most valuable asset in the world. More than any material possession. Without it having to lead to any capitalism-friendly “outcome.” Enriching one’s mind is its own reward, and the most valuable one.
This kept me focused on learning business for the way it sharpened my mind, without being anxious for material “returns”. This non-transactional relationship I had with business is exactly what kept me in it long enough for me to get really good at it.
I am thankful for my Taoist heritage.
It taught me that no one thing is separate from the ecology surrounding it. That you are not separate from me. That there is only Oneness.
That cultural knowing is exactly what planted the firm attitude in me that my thriving is vitally interlinked with yours, that I cannot use, manipulate, and extract from you to get ahead. When I cheat you to get what I want, I only end up cheating myself.
The Taoism baked into my culture also taught me this. When there is an up, there is a down, and when there is expansion, there is contraction.
Don’t get too excited on a good day, and don’t be too depressed on a bad day. Proverbs of this nature are passed down and repeated in my family.
This is exactly what gave me the steadfastness to keep going long enough to see my efforts bear full fruition in the long term.
I’m thankful for my animinist/shamanic heritage.
One of the teachings I’m known for is the idea of “the spirit of your business.” I believe your business literally has its own spirit. So does your social media account. So does your phone. So does your email.
I’m often asked where I got this idea from. And while certain sources gave me inspiration for articulating it out loud, it was always obvious to me because of the animism that is part of our traditional culture.
Western culture sees certain things as living (birds, trees, humans), and other things as inert (mountains, seas, the soil).
Animism recognizes everything as alive and conscious — each different thing in its own way.
This way of seeing everything in my business ecosystem — even things that are dead or inert according to Western culture — as ALIVE, CONSCIOUS, and being in a LIVING RELATIONSHIP — has been key to my creativity and genius-level intuition about making strategic moves for my business.
The ideology around ancestral veneration that is central to my culture (which is half-Confucian and half-animist/shamanic, I think)… also turned out to be critical for my business success.
Koreans believe that our lives are closely interlinked to our ancestors.’ We are also taught that everything good that happens to us is NOT only due to our own merit, but due to our ancestors’ benevolent deeds.
Almost like I’m receiving delayed good karma for what my ancestors did.
For example, my mom tells me the story of her grandmother, who would always welcome into her home travelers who needed a place to rest.
She would feed them the best food, give them a warm place to sleep, and send them on their way with more provisions.
And she would tell my mom: “I do this for you. All the good I do will come back to you. So, when you grow up, you must remember to be kind to everyone, and help as many people as you can.”
The recognition of interrelationship across time and space is baked into our worldview.
Do you know what this means?
It means that, from day 1, I knew that my business would fail if it didn’t benefit others before it benefited me.
Generosity and benevolence had to be the primary values through which I filtered all of my business decisions.
This was not only the way I created success for myself (it all flows back to me, always), but the way I create good fortune for my descendants.
Actually, I’ve oriented my business to community care in much more radical ways since I became a mother.
Because now I think acutely about my son’s well being, and I want him to have a good future.
The best way for me to invest in his future well-being is taking care of the community around me now.
Yes, we were a colonized and impoverished and war-torn people, living to this day with a legacy of trauma.
But.
I’m not prosperous in spite of being Korean.
I’m prosperous because I am Korean.
(Please, substitute “Korean” with whatever you are.)
What about you?
If you’re from a non-dominant culture, in what ways has your heritage made you stronger, better, more prosperous?
Live with your parents, for god’s sake
I promised my clients I would post this publicly.
I would 100% be living with my parents if I weren’t married.
Whole-ass adults living with their parents is still the default in cultures outside of pathologically individualism-obsessed America.
Living alone is also just not financially feasible in many parts of the world where living spaces are much more cramped and expensive.
Fuck anyone who shames you about it. Literally tell them “why yes, I live with my parents. I’ve been lucky enough to escape dystopian individualism.”
If given a choice again between living alone (ew, I hate being lonely), living with roommates (ugh), and living with people who gave birth to me and love me (and getting to save on rent!), it’s a no-brainer choice.
Warm bodies of family members nearby is a good thing for humans and that doesn’t change because you’re a grown-up.
Big big caveat: I’m not talking about if you actually enjoy living alone, or don’t have a good relationship with your parents.
Like if you have crappy parents and want to be away from them, or you are truly living your best life on your own — Woohoo! I celebrate you and your badass independence!
Through this post, I am only attempting to explicitly address all the shaming around people who choose to live with parents for different reasons, especially when it really helps them to reduce their financial burden as an entrepreneur.
I also recognize that having parents you have a good relationship with, and having the choice of being able to live with them and have it be a positive experience and save on rent is a huge privilege. This is not true of everyone who has parents.
I recognize that some have the privilege due to sheer good luck, and others don’t due to no fault of their own. I’m saying: if you do have this unearned advantage, the least you could do is to not feel shame about it.
Generally, life is hard, and life is expensive — it seems like — pretty much everywhere nowadays. Everyone who is figuring out how to make life work for themselves in these crazy times is deserving of our respect and admiration.
My hack for finding the BEST answer to every problem
Find a Black woman, or Black queer person talking about it, and listen to them.
If you have a problem worth spending money on, hire them.
If you’re skeptical about that, and doubtful that the color of one’s skin makes someone automatically more qualified (and I really agree with that), allow me to explain why.
I guess not all, but an overwhelming majority of man-made problems plaguing our world today are a result of colonization and white supremacy. Everything from housing insecurity to your personal insecurities.
And here’s the thing.
Non-Black people of color (like myself) have a different relationship to white supremacy than Black people.
Non-Black people of color (like myself) were extended a promise — which has always been an illusion and a lie, but white folks perpetuated it hard and for a long time — that we have a chance of sitting with white people and benefiting from their privilege as long as we did the right things.
As long as we spoke English. With the right accent. As long as we worked hard. As long as we renounced and shamed our own traditions and people. As long as we were willing to forget historical harm perpetuated to us. As long as we ate the right food, mimicked white habits, and glorified white ideals and norms.
let me be clear, this was always an illusion and a lie. We were never, ever going to sit at their table and fully share their privileges. They wouldn’t have it.
But we were offered the scraps, and told — if you get in line, you’ll get more. And one day, you’ll be able to have ALL of it.
Just keep being/doing more of what we told you.
Many of us — often out of wanting to just survive, and sometimes out of ambition — swallowed that lie hard and deep.
And fell in line with what white supremacy told us.
And here’s the thing: that same lie was never sold to Black people, and particularly Black women.
The message, for so long, continuing into today, was crystal clear.
“No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be one of us, you’ll never sit at our table. And in fact, the harder you try, the more we’ll deride and punish you.”
This is the reason why Black folks in general, and Black women (and queer folks!) in particular, have the clearest view of reality, and the best access to wisdom about what’s really fucked up about the world and how to fix it.
They didn’t have a choice as to whether to buy into the lies of white supremacy. Because they were systematically excluded from even being offered crumbs that came with “willing” subjugation and compliance.
From the beginning, Black folks (and particularly women and queer people) had no choice to see reality for exactly what it is.
They didn’t have the choice of buying into their own oppression the way non-Black people of color did. So, in a way, they were “forced” into clarity about the entire death cult that is white supremacy.
White supremacy doesn’t benefit white people either. In fact, white people are poisoned by it. Any system that is premised on anti-human principles, poisons those who buy into it.
The same way the patriarchy poisons men.
If you’re white, you both participate in, and are harmed by, white supremacy.
That’s why I say — regardless of whether you’re white or yellow or brown, if you want the answer, go to Black people.
Go to Black women and queer people.
They are the greatest experts and pioneers on whatever problem that you’re trying to solve — whether it’s business growth or relationship issues or nutrition — which has been inevitably created by, and/or perpetuated by white supremacy. Because white supremacy has extended its poisonous tentacles to every area of life.
Sometimes it’s a struggle to find Black teachers. Not because there aren’t a lot of them (there’s TONS AND TONS of them who are way, way more qualified and experienced than the average white counterpart), but because white supremacy has intentionally undermined and silenced them and punished them for doing the same things that white people are rewarded for.
But that’s even more of a reason you should seek them out. Don’t give up on the first day of your search. Tell everyone what you need help with, and tell them that you’re specifically looking for Black teachers, consultants, speakers, and coaches. Keep searching. Follow the breadcrumbs of information.
I’m not primarily following Black creators/teachers for some kind of social justice reason.
I’m following them because they have the best information about how to get from where I am and where I want to go.
History has forced them to be 10x more qualified and 100x more insightful than everyone else.
I feel a little nervous posting this, only because talking pointedly about a group of people I don’t belong to feels… a little risky.
But I have to say it out loud because I wish someone had told ME this long ago. It would have saved me soooo much time and wasted effort.
I’m Simone Seol
I am here for humans who want to human more humanely.