Can you be fierce without alienating people?

Mar 7, 2025 | 126 comments

Questioner: I have a menacing canker in my mind this morning…. when speaking my truth, why do I get so damn confrontational sounding?!?! Is that a thing?

I love work that gets into the grit and grunt of life and made it a belief that no one else is ready to do this work so they won’t buy from me. When I aim to express why they need to start going deeper, I end up getting confrontational with these people. It feels like I’m in a battle and wondering if there is another way to be in your face raw without yielding a sword all the time?

Maybe other folks in your T&D course or orbit feel the same?

Simone: Can you tell me what exactly is wrong with confrontational and wielding a sword?

Questioner:
I don’t want people who follow me or receive my emails to feel like I’m coming at them. I’d like to confront without my system feeling like it’s gotta battle. If that makes sense. For example, “some of you aren’t doing the work, and it shows.” Was part of my last email talking about the collective shadow work needed for these times.

Simone: Ok let’s work on this particular shadow! The thing is, the world needs confrontations and battles. The world needs rawness. These are not failures or flaws or weaknesses to be perfected. They are part of the human experience. Putting aside problem solving for a minute, getting philosophical with me for a second… can you think of the VALUE and VIRTUE of things like going into battle, wielding a sword, being raw? Why they belong?

Questioner: Yes, I can see where there would be viable need for it. They belong for preservation of life, to fight for something that you believe will create a better world for others to exist, in hopeful harmony.

Simone: That’s right. Can you connect to the parts of you that stand up for that and give them appreciation and love and honoring? Once you do that, look at what you want to say. It’ll come out different.

Questioner: This makes a lot of sense. I stepped away today from an email with this in mind and came back to it. I naturally put my classy hider hat back on, but I’m becoming more and more aware of my emotions in this process.

Endless gratitude for your magic in the world. Thank you!!!

Simone: Also – what if you WERE just abrasive and aggressive? So what? Isn’t that genuinely a part of who you are?

Questioner: Gahhhhh – it’s totally a part of me. I get spicy and passionate about certain topics… there’s some layers beneath it all that hold me back. And my phrase for 2025 is “fuck it” my plant ally Nasturtium… so it’s time for me to get fired up and share what’s coming through.

Simone: If someone doesn’t love you at your fieriest and spiciest, raw and throwing swords, they’re probably not the people who’d be the MOST delighted to pay you and be radically changed by your work.

Questioner: Truth!! I’m going to lean into this. Thank you!!

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