I’m being vulnerable… so why am I invisible?

Questioner: I absolutely loved this challenge and I’ve been pushing myself an inch every single day. The other day I shared something personal that was scary & I did expect it to be received well (it wasn’t). Also, by receiving well, I don’t mean no disagreement, but I feel unseen and invisible even when I present my raw self. It’s like preparing the most delicious meal and having none to appreciate the food!! (Does this smell like validation? And isn’t it human to seek one?)

Simone: Oh, it’s very normal and human to seek validation! Question: who is your sharing FOR?

Questioner: Ahh!!

Okay, so my sharing is for the ones who want to hear my story and feel the connection. I see this as peeling off my layers to help them see more of them in me.

Simone: Okay. If you want to share so that you can be heard and feel connection, we have to begin within. You have to hear yourself first, and feel the connection with yourself first. That’s actually the primary reason we write.

And once you hear yourself and feel connected to yourself, the possibility begins that others might, too. The minute we start making decisions about what to say and how to say it with “how will others respond” in mind, we begin to lose that congruence and freedom.

Does that make sense?

Questioner: It makes so much sense. All this time I have been feeling—no one’s interested or is reading what I’ve to say—but the truth is, I need to be interested in every story of mine without thinking how it will be perceived. Thank you so much, Simone.

Simone: Write for YOU. Write things that are so true and meaningful for YOU to get out, that even if no one else were to appreciate it, you feel like, “I’m glad this exists in the world.” Write for who you used to be and who you are becoming so that every post is a love letter from you to you. If anyone else likes it, it’s a bonus.

That doesn’t mean we become immune to craving validation. We never stop being human. But when the meaningfulness and joy of writing FOR YOU takes precedence, it will be so much easier to write… And your writing will get better, too.