okay, i know that’s a dramatic subject line — and NO, I haven’t become one of THOSE people — but I did write an old school style allegory that involves the Big Bad One.
check out out.
< The Allegory of Stymied Healers >
The Supreme Creator of the Universe saw the world, and saw that humans were suffering from pain.
Creator said: “Hmm… I don’t want them to suffer. But I cannot go personally help each one of those people. Whatever shall I do?”
“Wait, I know! I’m going to create humans who are also HEALERS and WISDOM GIVERS so they can relieve the suffering of humankind!”
So, Creator went to work and made all kinds of healers and wisdom givers, in every color, in every culture, and in every gender. They were pleased to see this.
The healers were then set free to begin to help other humans. It was going great!
Humans were finding their way to healing, wholeness, joy, creativity, connection, starting to remember their true nature as Love embodied.
But… someone had a problem with this.
It was Satan.
Satan looked around and said, “Wait, what’s happening? Why are all these people starting to suffer less? It was perfect before when everyone was in pain! These damn healers… I gotta do something about this.”
Here was a wrinkle.
Satan couldn’t just “get rid of” the healers because the Supreme Creator already installed them, and he couldn’t destroy the Creator’s creation or intention.
So, he had to come up with a clever way to stop them without destroying them, AND cover his tracks.
He brainstormed day and night.
One day, on his morning walk along the bank of the scenic River of Misery, he suddenly slapped himself in the forehead.
“I GOT IT!!!” The perfect plan came to him in a flash of satanic inspiration.
“I might not be able to kill off the healers… but I’m going to mass-hypnotize them into believing that healing work is only legitimate when it’s tied to a lucrative business!”
Satan cackled.
“This way, instead of knowing how and why God made them, they’ll be constantly doubting themselves. And instead of eliminating suffering in the world, they’ll be so occupied ‘trying to get clients’ and ‘grow a successful business’ that they’ll be exponentially increasing their own suffering. After a while, that suffering will begin to eclipse any desire they had to help others! Muahahahah!!!”
Satan continued to plot: “Given enough time, they’ll just give up healing altogether because the rules of conventional business will be so soul-sucking for them, they will be permanently drained of the energy or willingness to do this work.”
“No one will even question this plan, because I’ll hypnotize them into believing that all the ‘chasing material success’ is NOT for their own selfish sake, but the only real way to help people and be seen as a healer. Which means they can never escape it. It is the perfect plan!!!!”
Satan thought, smiling ear to ear: “I have to say, this is one of my all-time best ideas.”
So, he went to his workroom, the penthouse of the high rise behind the Gates of Hell.
He created an excellent mass hypnosis, and unleashed it upon the populace. Then he went to bed feeling very satisfied with himself.
A while later, Satan went to check up on what’s happening on Earth.
He was delighted to see his plan was working PERFECTLY.
The healers had gotten super confused.
The healers were caught up in a frenzy of “marketing” that felt weird and off to them, and they told themselves they weren’t allowed to stop. And the more they did it, the less connected they felt to their own healing powers.
Instead of leading with their healer hearts, they were taught to hide inside certain boxes and masks to be “professional” and “profitable”, which meant no one who was looking for a healer’s heart could even find one.
One by one, the healers gave up.
They went back to living as though they were NOT healers, and even when they occasionally did healing things here and there, their actions were plagued with doubt and shame.
That meant nobody healed. And everyone suffered.
Satan looked at all this, giggled, and said, “I am so good, I sometimes scare myself.”
****
If you are reading this, break the spell of the mass hypnosis now.
This is your cue.
The Supreme Creator is infinitely stronger than the Deceiver. Claim the truth of your inheritance.
Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.
Love,
Simone
P.S. — The Way of the Dragon drops its 2nd lesson of the 5-part series today. Last week, we explored the fundamental nature of soul power. This week, we are exploring authentic compassion and how we can access power through it.
It is going to be fascinating, mind-bending, and liberating.
Wanna know what happens when you stop launching for a year…?
I’m going to tell you… I’m revealing my revenue figures from last year, but there is a bit of a story first.
Early in 2023, I decided that I needed a break. After a handful of years of creating and launching nonstop, I needed to…. just STOP.
I didn’t have a masterplan for what to do instead, or when to get back into it or anything. All I knew was that whatever has been happening is no longer sustainable to continue, and that I must simply STOP, let the chips fall where they may, and figure out what’s next one day at a time.
If that sounds terrifying, it kind of was…
That said, it’s not like I completely stopped work. I did keep up the baseline of existing commitments. However, I scrapped plans, shooed away all new opportunity and completely stopped launching for most of the year (until Slumber Party, which took place in December, was my only launch in all of 2023).
Every time my brain offered me a new business idea, I said to myself: “Nope. Not now.”
So, what was I doing instead? I “cleaned house”. I cleared some shit out that clearly no longer belonged in my world anymore, I broke some shit and sat with the broken pieces, and sat and sat and sat and sat…. until I felt completely done sitting.
Sounds dramatic? Yep, it was… it was actually so painful at times. But that’s a story for another day. I promise I’ll tell you some other time.
Now, thanks to how well my business did in previous years, I fortunately had the cushion to basically “coast” for a while — an immense privilege I am endlessly grateful for.
Even so, it was going to be a big change. Going from “always selling something” mode to “selling nothing” mode, I was expecting a big drop in income. But I wasn’t sure how much.
Well, I found out. And I get to tell you, too.
Here we go.
My total 2023 revenue: $1.57 million (by the way, this is less than 1/3 of the previous year)
My flagship program: $1.2 million (Joyful Marketing, which became HOME):
Slumber Party: $257K (the only new thing I live-launched at the end of the year)
My pre-recorded classes (mostly pre-recorded classes costing $25) brought in nearly $170K.
Looking back at these numbers, a few things struck me.
First thought: well DAMN. Honestly, I kind of can’t believe we pulled THAT while not launching at all 11 months out of the year.
How was I able to make that much? I believe the answer is: the quality of products, reputation and community I had built around my business in previous years. For that, I am proud of myself, and so grateful for the miraculous ecosystem of people and ideas I get to play in. THANK YOU.
Second thing: notice… I no longer have high-ticket programs. I retired my mastermind with a 5-figure price tag a couple years ago. The most expensive thing you can buy from me right now is $1,500 or $3,500 (tiered options, depending on your financial circumstance).
And significant chunk of my revenue came from $25 and $100 classes. This is something I am celebrating big, because I love that I got to prove to myself and my community that you can have a healthy 7-figure business without relying on high ticket items.
I might bring back high ticket items one day, but I know I love what my business looks like without them.
Third, let me share a few observations about intentionally making less money.
Of course, this is all soooooo much easier to do when you have a cushion. And making “less” money for me is still a crazy huge amount for most people.
But don’t make the mistake of thinking that objectively having “enough” in the bank means it’s easier to take the foot off the gas.
You probably know many stressed out workaholics who have enough money but just can’t stop worrying and hustling for the next milestone. Many can’t slow down even when they do have a cushion, because the fear of “I’m just gonna bleed money from here on and everything’s going to fall apart and I’m going to eventually end up on the streets” is emotional, not purely rational.
This shit is conditioned in the nervous system, not logic… and it’s often passed down from generation to generation.
For many years, I did very intentionally work on recalibrating my nervous system to feel safe independent of the number in the bank account. A lot of intentional work on money and safety.
And in 2023, I found that I was able to access more unconditional trust in myself than I was ever capable of before. I didn’t need to see money constantly coming in to feel safe. I didn’t need to be achieving more and more to like myself.
I even had a convo with my husband, where we talked about how we would both go out and find jobs again if my business just completely stopped being profitable, and we’d depleted all our savings. We talked about the steps we’d take. It would be a change… but we’d make it work. That was a scenario we were 100% willing to face.
Having said that, I’d be lying if I said I felt 100% chill throughout 2023. I most definitely did NOT. There were moments of big meltdowns. But the journey was made a LOT easier thanks to the work I’d already done in previous years.
Now I feel emotionally and spiritually more resilient than ever. More in love with who I am outside of all the business-related identities.
And I’m proud of myself for that, and grateful for the space in which I could do this work.
Why am I sharing these things?
Every year, I share my revenue numbers even though I don’t owe anyone this info (except the IRS, I guess) because this kind of information is so unnecessarily shrouded by secrecy in the online business world. And I hate that.
Without transparency, what spreads is all kinds of illusions and distortions that have little to do with reality, and nothing good grows from that environment. If I can do a small part to change that, I will.
Moreover, it would have meant the world to me when I was starting out to see this kind of honest sharing from someone that I looked up to, who is a little bit ahead of me in the journey.
It would have helped me to contextualize my own journey, move “money stuff” from out of the shadows into the light in my own mind, and give me a more concrete sense of what’s possible for me down the line.
Please know that that is why I share.
Now, I have a lot more thoughts to share with you about money, work, rest, sabbatical, and creativity.
“You don’t need to pay attention to me or buy from me, no worries”…
… can either be a genuine statement of caring for the other person, coming from grounded non-attachment…
… OR it can be a form of fawning, like “please don’t have any bad thoughts about me, I’ll back off and make myself small if that means I can stay in your good graces.”
Learn how to tell them apart, and you’ll save yourself massive amounts of trouble.
Tier 1. People who don’t like you and have no intention of taking the risk of actually relating to you
Think: behind-your-back gossipers, or people who leave nasty comments about celebs whom they have ZERO chance of meeting in person. This is a true hater, whose hating is bolstered by the convenience of extremely low accountability, and never having to confront the other’s humanity. People who feel truly whole and well in their lives do not do this. What they need to work out doesn’t involve YOU. It involves them getting a therapist. Action step: tune them out. Send them love and healing. Protect your energy.
Tier 2. People who have feedback and THINK they’re relating to you, but are actually making demands.
Relating starts with the genuine willingness to meet the other person where they are, and understand them as they would wish to be understood. Any message where what they’re really saying is “I don’t like you or what you are doing. Please submit to to my demand for you to change or do something differently so that you can make me comfortable”, there is no relating, just an attempt to control. There is also no willingness to take responsibility for their own experience.
Action step: if they’re like, an online rando, ignore, let that shit bounce off of your force field, and move gingerly past them.
If they’re someone who is actually in your life, and maybe even close to you, or maybe even someone you love (it happens! Sometimes we do it to people we love, too!), and depending on your desire snd capacity, you may decide to hold loving space for them to “let them be” and do their thing without giving into them.
Easier said than done, I know.
Or sometimes, you gotta cut that person out of your life. There is too much nuance for me to give blanket advice regardless of context. You gotta exercise your discernment from a place of self-love and self-respect.
Tier 3. People who have uncomfortable feedback and come to you with the willingness to truly relate.
How you know this is the case: they are taking responsibility for their stuff. There is no dumping-and-demanding. There’s no “you made me feel/do ____ therefore you should ____.”
And there is respect, openness and possibility in the conversation, even if it is a difficult one.… and the genuine efforts to get to know you where you are, and be known for where they are.
Action step: Whenever this happens, I do everything possible to be available for what they are bringing me — even when it bruises my ego or makes me confront stuff I’d rather avoid. ESPECIALLY when, because that’s when learning and deepening happen.
The desired conclusion is not “everyone holding hands and singing kumbaya,” but people moving closer to their respective truths, and a more authentic relationship between the two parties. Sometimes that results in “happy endings.” Not always. And that’s okay.
(remember, this is just me sharing what I do in hopes it may help to inspire your own discernment. This is NOT a prescription for all of humanity)
Many of us try to prove or earn our worthiness by people-pleasing those in tiers 1 and 2. This is called fawning.
This is not only exhausting and unpleasant, but guaranteed to fail. You cannot earn your worthiness by performing for others’ good opinion, because (1) you do not have power over others’ thoughts, and (2) your worthiness is not dependent on what is happening inside another’s brain and nervous system.
Your worthiness is inherent, infinite, and non-negotiable.
You are an important being that is worthy of being cherished, full stop. You are not for everyone, and you are not responsible for everyone’s comfort, full stop.
Respect for yourself, your time, and energy is where responsible community stewardship begins.
Knowing this deeply is how we unlock our greatest potential for accountability.
Not segmenting my emails means everyone always gets all the emails regardless of what they’ve bought, unless it’s a course-specific email, or they’ve unsubscribed completely from marketing emails.
(1) Simplicity is my #1 priority.
I do all of my own marketing. I have zero part of it outsourced.
Because I like to. And I keep myself sane, happy and able to keep enjoying my work by keeping things as SIMPLE and LEAN as possible.
Anything complicated, even if it makes me more money, is going to quickly add up and add fatigue and resentment to my life… especially if it involves messing with tech.
This is one of the top ways I take care of myself as a neurodivergent business owner.
(2) Every single email I send is an education.
I am not humble about this. I have created close to 12 million dollars in sales over the past few years, and my #1 marketing tool is email. I have sky-high email open rates, and everything I do, I create a veritable frenzy of demand, whether it’s a freebie or a 5-figure program. I sell like a crazy mofo.
That doesn’t happen randomly.
If you think every email of mine isn’t an education, think again. Anyone who is considering working with me, or has already hired me, should be studying my emails. There’s always what I am explicitly transmitting , and what I am implicitly teaching by example.
All of it will help you grow, if you pay attention.
So, pay attention.
(3) I send all the emails to everyone (except those who opted out), because I don’t really want people staying on my email list unless they are DELIGHTED to receive every single email I send, and GRATEFUL to hear every word that comes out of my mouth.
Because I am a generous genius that offers more usefulness in an average email than most people will find in an average course they can pay for.
I only want to work with people who SEE that, and GET IT, and APPRECIATE IT.
I only want people staying on my email list if my name in their inbox feel like “OMG YAYYY!”
If not, no harm, no foul, you’re probably a wonderful person, love and best of luck to you… and staying on my email list is probably not the right fit for you. For now, at least.
You don’t have to do it this way.
But this is my way, and it has ons of money, meaningful connection and joy for me in my life and business.
Whether you’re selling services, or products, or fundraising for a cause, you‘re just trying to do one thing: GET SOMEONE TO PART WITH THEIR HARD-EARNED MONEY.
It sounds weird when you put it like that, but that’s the truth.
When I market something to you, I’m essentially saying: gimme some of your money.
Does that make you uncomfortable?
Why?
An exchange of money is inherently morally neutral. It’s how and why we do it that makes something ethical or not.
And if we are committed to doing it ethically, we’re saying — and genuinely mean it when we say — your money will be better off in my pocket than yours, because what I give you in return is genuinely more valuable TO YOU than that.
And specific neurochemical processes must take place in order for someone to get there. I want you to know what they are.
I distilled it to 4 steps, and each step is a requirement for the next step.
Here we go. Grab a notebook and pen and take notes.
FIRST STEP: CONGRUENCE.
The very first step for creating unconscious influence is YOU being congruent. This is you saying what you mean. Your external presentation matching your inner truth. The way you show up truly reflecting your values.
People can subtly sense when someone is saying one thing but really means another. Congruence is when that’s NOT happpening.
Basically, being real and sincere. All ethical marketing must start here. If you miss this first step (as many people do), the rest of it falls apart.
SECOND STEP: RAPPORT
Once someone senses that you are congruent, they open up to be able to build rapport with you.
Rapport is “hmm, I feel connected to them. I feel like I can trust them. I want to lean in and get to know them more!”
This is also where a lot of marketing fails. People try to shove information about their products down people’s throats without ever having taken the time and effort to build trust + connection based on their congruence. Create rapport first, and then the rest can happen.
THIRD STEP: EXPLORATION AND EXPANSION
Once you’ve built rapport with someone, you have the opportunity to help them explore new possibilities,expand their knowledge, and change their thinking about something.
Like: “Hmm, I didn’t know that before!” “Wow, I never thought about it that way!” “Damn, that changes everything…”
This is where learning happens. This is where people download new possibilities and desires ino their brains. This phase of is necessary for the 4th and final step to take place, which is…
FOURTH STEP: MOTIVATION
This is where people can act on their newfound insight or desire.
“Wow, if that’s possible, of course I’ll try this product!” “If that person did it, so can I. I’m signing up for this program.” “If, for the price of a couple lattes, I can feed a dozen hungry kids, that’s a no brainer.”
If you can create exploration and expansion.. AND then if you know how to create compelling motivation to act NOW (not tomorrow, not “when I have more time,” not “when I have all my ducks in a row…”), you will be scary-effective in getting people to part with their money.
Motivation is actually pretty simple, neurochemistry-wise. It has to do with pleasure, the anticipation of reward and the avoidance of pain.
Once again, a lot of people fail because they try to create that motivation without having taken the time to create genuine exploration and expansion.
People try do do it without having built robust trust + connection.
People try to do it without a lick of congruence.
All of those efforts WILL fail.
AND it will often be unethical.
—
A lot of people over-focus on one or two of these steps above, and ignore the rest. (Check which ones you tend to focus on, and which you tend to neglect.)
A lot of people get the sequence of these steps mixed up (trying to create motivation in others without checking your own congruence, for example.)
A lot of people are vaguely aware that they have a deficiency in one or more of these steps, but they are lacking the pragmatic action steps that can bridge the gaps.
Rosé, cheese board, kimbap, and flaming Cheetos (because that combination is very much my personality.)
Just me and a dozen of my friends, and a handful of acquaintances that my friends brought, who have been vetted and are def aligning with the vibe.
The party is so fun. People are dancing in one corner — but not the kind of dance where you look cool and sexy, but the kind where the point is just to get goofy and silly together. Another group, on another side of the room, is playing Cards Against Humanity and exchanging very offensive jokes. Everyone has the same sense of humor, and is dying laughing.
And, in yet another corner, a couple other people are having a deep heart to heart. Tears AND laughter. Next to them, another pair of friends are having a philosophical discussion about the nature of ethics in multiverses.
I’m flitting from group to group, hugging friends, refilling their rosé glasses, and having the best time.
The house party guest list grows, but slowly. One person says, “oh man, this discussion is too good. i gotta invite my friend Chidi who is an ethics professor to this party. He’d LOVE to be here, and Simone would adore him. Lemme text him.”
this really IS the good place!
Another person says, “this game of Cards Against Humanity has me in stitches. I have a friend who has another edition of this game. I’m gonna call him and ask him to bring it over.”
Let me ask you.
Would YOU bring five hundred brand new unvetted guests flooding into this party in the next hour?
No, you would not.
My business has always been built from community, and that has always been QUALITY over quantity. When I say quality, I mean — people who “get” me, and each other. People who adore me, and each other.
People who share a common set of values, a common “language,” and even a common sense of humor (even if we are different in many important ways).
In a high quality community, there is (1) mutual trust and affection, (2) a strong sense of culture, and (3) high quality discussions.
That’s what makes communities fun, nourishing, resilient, and sustainable. I lose that… and I lose everything good about my business.
Can I grow in quality AND quantity? For sure. Can I do it fast? Not in a million years. It’s been this way since I was a tiny business working with just a handful of folks 1:1. And it’s still this way now.
And it ain’t never gonna change.
Any time I have a massive spike in audience numbers, I will always be watching carefully and making moves to “temper and cull” so I can control for quality, and safeguard the culture.
As the party host, the worst thing I can do is (1) cease to have fun at my own party, and (2) make my existing guests feel like there is no longer a place for them. And slow, organic, incremental growth is an essential measure for both.
This is the way I think about audience growth as well as adding people to my paid programs. I have zero desire to “blow up” and actively do not want it. Now you know why.
(1) I tried it and, while I appreciated the “alternative brain mode” it allowed me to experience, it felt like all the edges, quirks, and colors of the “real me” were being dulled and greyed out and I didn’t like it.
(2) I have a lot of socio-economic privilege that makes it less challenging for me to navigate the day-to-day stuff necessary for survival.
(3) I’m lucky to be surrounded by people who love, appreciate and value me exactly as I am, so I experience minimal ADHD-shaming on a day-to-day basis. This makes existing in my raw brain-state a lot easier.
These are reasons that are personal and true to me. Would this be as easy a decision if I didn’t have all the luck and privilege that softens the challenges of navigating this complicated, neurodivergence-hostile world?
Most likely not.
I also know so many fellow ADHD humans who adore being on meds that work for them and thrive on them.
I believe this is a highly individual decision, there is no “right answer,” and I think you should trust yourself (and your doctor) with what feels good and true to you.
