This year, I did something I’ve never done before.
Declare a sabbatical without an end date, knowing that the end date might be quite far away.
It started in the summer.
And one of the things I noticed in the beginning was that I was feeling a profound fatigue around short-form content.
Weary to my bone of carousels and reels, emails and podcasts, being relentlessly mined for dopamine, and the illusion of having done something useful with one’s mind just floating in a sea of quickly churned out, and equally quickly forgotten output.
So, when I logged off from the world, it wasn’t even out of some lofty principle.
I was just following what I instinctively yearned for — the way a shark can smell blood from miles away, the way pregnant women are said to crave the food that contains the nutrition that their gestating fetuses need.
I needed words cooked slowly.
Slooooowly.
Perhaps even agonizingly slowly (I once had a friend who was a novelist. The time it took to birth a novel — agonizing indeed.)
To make up for the years I spent immersed in words, images and videos that took only minutes, or hours, to make. The fast food of creativity.
So I dove into a months-long marathon of doing almost nothing but reading novels.
More importantly, I’d traveled to the insides of extraordinary minds. Minds that were fully awake to the world, sensate equally to its brutality and its beauty.
Poverty.
War.
Partition.
Genocide.
Slavery.
The endless re-enactment of hatred and trauma.
And, threading through the midst of it all, impossibly — courage, love, kindness, tenderness, art, humanity.
These minds grabbed the thorniest, most uncomfortable questions of humanity by the throat, and stared into its eyes and refusing to look away, courting madness and fury.
These novels did not give me answers.
They did not prescribe a “how to” for how I ought to live the next chapter of my life, nor how to respond to a catastrophic world with my sanity and conscience intact — both of which I was subconsciously looking for.
But what they did, I feel, was restore my humanity.
They connected me back to the person I am, and always have been, outside of the professional roles I play.
Simone who looks. and keeps looking.
Simone who thinks and asks questions.
Simone who does not tire of searching.
That Simone is the most authentic Simone there is, and any identity of mine that is even a little bit more stable, poised, and reassuring than that is a lie.
These books also punctured giant gaping holes in the comfort of my former intellectual and ethical indolence. I found myself interrogating:
Why was I so content to communicate to my people through tiny Instagram squares and minutes-long videos?
Why was I so content to consume the same from others, and call it “learning” or “connection”?
What happened that I had become so comfortable conflating learning with entertainment, conversation with sound bites of conversation, and the sacred materiality of human togetherness with doing a bunch of clicking and swiping?
Had my thinking become so at ease with the conformity and shallowness that commerciality dictates, that I felt little inner tension with doing just that for years and years?
“If you’re ever going to go back to work, do it different,” I heard from within.
I need space where my thoughts can really stretch out without having to be cut up into squares.
I need space where my friends can read, and we can talk to each other without the interruption of constantly having to scroll left, and blinking notifications left and right.
So here we are.
An old-timey, 2006-style blog.
A blog is not the answer.
But it is a place where we can ask a hell of a lot of good questions.
Outside of that + my company’s basic operating costs, I’m donating the rest of our profits.
Here’s why I’m making this decision.
For the second half of this year, I’ve been taking sabbatical. And I’ve had the opportunity to do nothing but to think deeply.
And one of the realizations I’ve arrived at is this: we can live in either one of two modes: what I call the “hungry ghost” mode, or in spiritual wholeness.
Hungry ghost
“Hungry ghost” is a term that comes from Buddhism and Chinese folks religion.
The way I use this term colloquially, I am referring to a way of being that says: more, more, more, more. Never enough.
It is animated by an insatiable, ever-deepening gnawing existential void inside that nothing can fill.
The void plays host to an endless array of addictions — to more work, more money, more “growth”, more popularity, more comfort, more convenience, more entertainment, more dopamine, more adrenaline, more power.
More more more more more.
And, paradoxically, even when you accumulate and hoard more and more, the void doesn’t actually get filled. It somehow gets deeper, darker, more terrifying.
So then the addiction becomes even more frenzied. So then you get even more addicted to the chase. Then the void grows even deeper. And so on it goes…
In Buddhism, hungry ghosts, or pretas, are beings who are tormented by desire that can never be sated. (source)
The void is the very engine of consumerism (and so much of “business growth”).
The bigger the people’s void, the more they consume (and “work” a lot of the time), and the more alienated they grow from their own souls, and disconnected they become from everything life-giving, connective, and sacred.
Hungry ghost syndrome is not new to humanity — insatiable greed has always existed — but it has been inflamed to grotesque proportions and normalized amongst the populace to a terrifying degree thanks to capitalism.
Spiritual wholeness
The alternative to “hungry ghost” syndrome is spiritual wholeness.
You can have one, or the other. But not both. And there is nothing in between. No such thing as a middle ground. Pick one.
Spiritual wholeness is the opposite of the perpetual state of addiction that attempts to fill the void within. Consumerism, addiction, and alienation meet their end in spiritual wholeness.
The critical ingredient to spiritual wholeness that indigenous wisdom traditions have known for all ages, all over the world, is right relationship.
Right relationship with ourselves, our communities, with non-human living beings, with the Earth, and with unseen energies.
Right relationship with knowledge, money and material things (not “possessions,” since Buddhism teaches me that there is no such thing).
Right relationship between two beings requires attention, respect, and balance.
And one thing I have come to reflect on deeply is that excess is antithetical to right relationship.
What is enough — the opposite of excess?
What does it mean to steward (not “own”) enoughness?
Enoughness is not a fixed state.
What is enough for a healthy person is not the same as what is enough for a sick person. What is enough for an infant is not the same as what is enoughs for a teenager, which is not the same as what is enough for an elderly person. What is enough in a state of crisis is not the same as what is enough in a state of calm.
So it is a dynamic, moving idea.
And yet… we must never cease asking, “what is a balance that constitutes enoughness? And how do we meet it wisely?”
Otherwise, we cease to be in right relationship.
So, in 2025, I decided to enter into an experiment.
I call it an experiment, because everything is an experiment.
We try things, we learn and grow from them, and we try things differently, better — hopefully — based on the new knowledge we’ll glean. I don’t know what I’ll learn from this upcoming experiment that will make future experiments different.
But for now, here is what I am committed to.
I am taking a fixed salary.
It is a salary that will allow my family to live comfortably.
Not extravagantly, but with all of our basic needs AND many comforts met, while allowing us to save some for our future, while also allowing us to exercise a bit of generosity in our private lives.
(And no, I’m not sharing this number — on purpose. I have no problem sharing numbers.
But I feel that, once the number is known, it becomes distracting. Some may think it’s too much, some may think it’s too little, and more importantly, it may, for many, unconsciously become a kind of cutoff line at which people are “allowed to” make similar decisions. And none of that is useful, because the number itself is not the point.
The “enoughness” number will be different for everyone, and it will be different even for me at different stages of my life.)
My company also has ongoing expenses. My team members need to be paid, and there are tech expenses, taxes, etc.
And if we have profits on top of that — and I’m honestly not sure how much of them we’ll have, given that I’m also intending to move at a much slower pace and making significant changes to my business, leaving behind many features that used to reliably bring in “big money” — I intend to donate them to nonprofit organizations that support decolonization and climate justice.
I thought long and hard about whether to talk about this publicly at all.
Because, at the end, I’m not doing this for anyone but for myself. (Remember the whole thing about spiritual health? It’s MY spiritual health I’m choosing.)
But ultimately, I chose to speak about it publicly, because I don’t think I would’ve thought to move in this direction if it weren’t for indigenous, Confucian, Taoist and Buddhist teachers of mine who shared wisdom and stories of their own lives and lineages that exemplified what it means to live in right relationship, away from capitalism’s dictates.
And I think that matters — sharing of stories. If it could support and embolden at least one other person to move in similar directions, I would be very happy.
This is an uncertain and perilous time for many across the world.
The more of us there are who are connected to the health of our spirits, the better hope we have of creating a world that is safe for our descendants to inhabit.
There’s a poison that kills your ability to grow, achieve your goals, and do good in the world…
… that I see almost no one talking about.
“Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can” – Arthur Ashe
In order for this quote to have full impact, I need to give the corollary.
Don’t try to start from somewhere other than where you are.
Don’t try to make use of resources you don’t have.
Don’t try to do something you don’t know how to do.
This is SORELY underrated wisdom. In fact, our culture currently encourages AGAINST it.
Making $500 a month now? Why not go for six figs and try to quit your job next month? Why not you?
Shoot for the moon and land among the stars!
Want to make mental healthcare accessible to all who need it?
Sure, invest all your hopes and dreams and 401K in a national network of care providers, even though you’re behind on bills, have little organizing experience, and even less marketing skills.
Heartbroken about genocide happening in a continent you’ve never been to? Why not try to figure out how to end it NOW, even though the brightest minds who are native to the region have dedicated their lives to peace have failed for decades?
This isn’t a call for pessimism or resignation. This isn’t me saying, “sit down and be realistic.” Fuck that.
Instead, this is a call to be awake to our tendency to hold ourselves up to impossible, ill-informed standards buoyed only by the kind optimism that has never been tested by reality. The same kind that political opportunists and marketing hucksters are always gleeful to take advantage of.
Hear me. It is NOT a cop out or a laziness to “start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.”
In fact, it is often the shrewdest, most courageous, sensible and HELPFUL thing you can do.
(Ever have an intern with zero experience come into your office? It takes way more work to TRAIN them before they can be useful in any way. Don’t be that intern to your own project.)
Do your research. Chances are, there are people who are better-resourced already doing something similar.
This doesn’t mean you should be discouraged. Learn from them. They can help you. In a community effort, there are no lone heroes.
Instead of jumping off a cliff and saying a Hail Mary, test out a small, workable version of your vision.
Learn from it and iterate.
Never, ever compare your work to those with bigger budgets and platforms.
Arthur Ashe’s words REQUIRE you to believe in the honor and dignity of your role, wherever you are.
I wouldn’t do shit with my money and so-called “platform” if I were over here comparing myself to Mackenzie freaking Scott.
Compared to the the “all or nothing”, “be the sole hero” approach, the “Starting where you are, using what you have, doing what you can” approach allows you to:
(1) cultivate an awareness of your current strengths and weaknesses,
(2) build capacity and learn what you need to know as you go,
and
(3) develop a sustainable infrastructure and the endurance you need in order to achieve your goals in the long run. (Critical.)
“I need to figure it all out and do it all NOW” is a disease of toxic, individualist capitalism.
It is more of a manifestation of our collective neurosis than it is a genuine statement of moral conviction.
It is also the principal disruptor of sustainable and equitable processes that can win at the end.
Whether your goal is building a community-nourishing business or fighting the climate crisis, keep Arthur Ashe’s words close to your heart.
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
Not turned on by the prospects of earning millions (other than thinking not worrying about money would be nice)… or being on TV, and making headlines?
You’re not broken, or destined for “mediocrity”.
You know, I think our society has a very warped relationship with the idea of ambition.
The only form of ambition it glorifies is one that concerns (1) money, (2) worldly status, and (3) the individual.
That has many people who DO seek ambition ending up lonely, feeling empty and burnt out, with broken homes… and at worst, do harm to the communities around them.
So let’s look at how much more multidimensional the ambition can be.
One form of ambition is RELATIONAL.
How rich are you in relationships? Yeah, a lot of people know you, but how many people know you?
How much closeness do you enjoy, and with how many people?
A relationally ambitious person doesn’t stop at transactional and surface relationships. They invest in depth and intimacy. They know how, they keep learning how to be even better at it, and they reap the rewards.
Another form of ambition is CREATIVE.
We are all creative — even if your thing isn’t what is conventionally considered “art”.
A creatively ambitious person makes stuff as a response to their own aliveness, vs. to please an audience, or to fulfill the demands of capitalism.
How much of your time do you spend making stuff, just for the fun of it, just because you’re responding to an impulse inside of you? (There are enormously “successful” “artists” who haven’t created for the fun of it in a loooong time. They haven’t been creatively ambitious because they’ve been too busy feeding the “success machine.”)
Another form of ambition is DOMESTIC.
There are people for whom a lovingly-tended, beautiful and happy home is the ultimate and highest form of wealth. My mom is such a person.
Home-making isn’t something the patriarchy “forced” her to do. It is a sacred vocation that makes her come alive more than anything else, and this is true for many people — of all genders.
For a domestically ambitious person, a home is their church, their workplace AND playspace, their exhibit, and their sanctuary.
Another form of ambition is SPIRITUAL.
Elon Musk might have won the “worldly ambition” game.
But a monk you’ve never heard of who’s been silently meditating in a cave in the Himalayas for the past 15 years — and finds the ultimate meaning and fulfillment in that — takes the cake when it comes to spiritual ambition.
Spiritual ambition seeks communion with the transcendent, the divine.
Another form of ambition is SERVICE.
People who seek to help others and drive change in the world because they derive meaning and fulfillment in that, in and of itself, regardless of what comes back to them, are ambitious in terms of service.That’s pretty self-explanatory, right?
The last form of ambition is the ambition for SPACIOUSNESS.
There are people — and cultures, even — that find the highest fulfillment in… well, not doing a whole lot.
They do NOT see the validation of identity or purpose in WORK.
Dolce far niente. Leisureliness. Insouciance. The space to wonder, wander, dream, nap, and simply BE.
***An important note I want to make is that (1) I literally just thought of these, so this is not some kind of absolute or exhaustive list (feel free to think of your own list!) and (2) these are, obviously, NOT mutually exclusive.It’s not like you have to choose between the binaries of “worldly” vs “spiritual”…
… though, in terms of the constraints of 3D space and time, we sometimes have to make tradeoffs. (For example, you can’t paint AND build refugee camps at the exact same time!)
I believe that each of us has every single types of ambition — in different amounts — inside of us.
And we are called to make choices that best express and fulfill our inner ambitions, even with the aforementioned 3D constraints.
I share this with the hope that it gives you a sense of relief and validation that your desires and yearnings matter and are worth pursuing…… even if they don’t conform to individualistic and capitalistic ideals.
Well, first, I google ways to disappear to a remote, uninhabited island where no human being can ever find me again.
Then, I take long, trembling breaths to keep my body from spontaneously exploding from the 826373-degree heat of shame.
Then I cry for a week and ask my husband 539 times to reassure me that I’m not an unlovable gargoyle.
Well, I’m exaggerating… but not by much.
All that’s to tell you this: I’m NOT some kind of sturdy beacon of confidence.
I have hella anxiety and rejection sensitivity, and if I can make lots of big bold cold pitches — and reap the rewards — SO CAN YOU.
Here are some things that help… I’ve had a lot of practice.
(1) Remind yourself that you and whoever you’re pitching are EQUALS.
I don’t care if they’re the President of the World. They’re not above you. They are not your Master or Overlord or God.
They are just a human being who farts and burps and has weird rashes and secret insecurities and are trying to figure their shit out, one day at a time.
(The above is true of even the most successful and confident person you can think of.)
And you’re not “below” them. You are a precious child of God, a one-in-8-billion spark of creation, the carrier of sacred soul mission and a unique medicine.
Know this. Feel this. Remember this.
(2) Know this: cold pitching — of the kind where you’re truly answering your dreamiest, squishiest desires — isn’t really about getting the “yes.”
Even though that’s the game we’re pretending to play, it’s actually for the relationship between you and your soul.
Something magical gets activated when you say, “Oh, what the hell, I’m just gonna ask them.”
EVEN IF all you get at first is a string of “no’s”…. I promise you that the mere act of asking will change your brain. It will change your posture. It will change your aura. It will even give your skin a new glow. (don’t ask me how it works… it just does.)
It will make the quantum field around you re-arrange itself around your desires.
And it will hugely expand your nervous system capacity to receive good things (appreciation, praise, money, etc) — and actually hold onto them.
THAT’S the magic.
And it is worth e-very-thing.
Look. I’m not gonna pretend like it’s easy to have a rejection-sensitive brain. (Studies show it often comes with ADHD. Sigh… wouldn’t I know it!)
It’s not. There will be emotional rollercoasters. There might be times when you’ll need to call your bestie to ask them to reassure you that you are not, in fact, an unlovable gargoyle.
But I also want to tell you this: you are worth it.
You’re worth that collaboration with the writer who changed your life, whom you’ve been admiring for the past 5 years.
You’re worth an audience of millions.
You’re worth the magazine feature.
You’re worth selling out your retreat.
Your work is worth it. What God planted inside you is worth it.
And rejection sensitivity is just a symptom of your extraordinary empathy and superior powers of perception…
… NOT a life sentence dooming you to smallness.
You can do this, and we want to show you how.
Our, Cold Pitch Magic, is in just two days…. and what my co-teacher Sam Garcia and I have got planned for you is truly, honest-to-God, life-changing.
Bring all of you.
And we’ve got the rest covered: the A-to-Z of how to make heart-centered, relationship-centering cold pitches that lead to quantum leaps in your life and business.
What to ask for, whom to ask, and how to ask to maximize that magical expansion thing I’m talking about…. we’re giving you ALL of it.
Feeling a little nauseated after a little harmless “let me just check how much engagement my last post got”…. turned into a 3-hour daze of mindless scrolling? AGAIN?
When you could’ve gone for a walk, organized your pantry, or practiced for your upcoming lipsync battle?
Well, guess what, I came up with an actual social media-free marketing strategy for you!
Yes. One that will actually work.
Due to the limitations of space and time, I cannot create a customized strategy for every single person reading this email….
… but I came up with a strategy for, say, a relationship coach.
If you’re not a relationship coach — which most of you aren’t — use your critical thinking skills and extrapolate how you can apply a similar process to YOUR thing, OKAY??
Y’all are a SMART BUNCH. I trust you.
Let’s go.
1 .Pitch yourself on bigger podcasts… that aren’t a competition.
If you’re a relationship coach, don’t just limit yourself to trying to get on bigger coach-y, relationship-y podcasts.
Sure, some of them might be interested… but they’re probably talking about similar things that you are, so you’re technically kinda in “competition” with each other. (Competition in quotes because I don’t actually believe in competition… but you know what I mean.)
Instead… think like this. In terms of your personal life…. are you into lifting weights?
Great. Pitch your favorite fitness podcasts to bring you on board to talk about strategies for getting healthier and stronger with your sweetie, even if your partner doesn’t seem to be into it. Strengthen your bod AND your relationship!
(Never even thought about that? Well, think about it now!)
Are you into celebrity gossip?
Pitch yourself as a relationship expert to pop culture podcasts so you can talk about the unique way YOU see the problems with Ben Affleck + J Lo’s marriage… and how you think they could mend it. (Or why you think it’s doomed!)
2. Pitch yourself to editors and blogs.
Write down those super-interesting expert thoughts on Bennifer’s marriage, turn it into an article, and pitch editors of online publications, or blogs that get a lot of traffic.
Now you’re a relationship expert, as featured on ___!!!
(Are you seeing the strategy here? Don’t just think about what you always think about… notice what other people are paying attention to, and get creative about finding the Venn diagram intersection!)
3. Pitch yourself to companies.
Find companies that seem value-aligned with you.
And pitch yourself to be featured as part of corporate wellness events. Offer to do a talk on creating healthy relationships, both at home AND at the workplace.
Whatever your ‘thing’ is, never underestimate the diversity of places where people might find it useful.
4. Pitch yourself to conferences.
There are specific conferences happening all the time OUTSIDE of your niche: nutrition, women’s empowerment, mental health, spiritual healing, sustainability, environmental activism…
What are YOU into? Let’s say, you really care about environmental activism.
Find an angle where your relationship expertise can bring unique value, such as… how you can 5x the impact of environmental activism by doing it as a team effort with your partner — and as a bonus, how that can strengthen your relationship, as well!
And then pitch yourself as a featured speaker, or to lead a session.
5. If you know someone who is well-connected, approach them with GENEROSITY.
Let’s say, your friend from college is big in the PR world. Or your cousin is a knitting influencer on Youtube, and knows a lot of other influencers.
You like them, and they like you.
Instead of saying, “hey, can you hook me up for me so I can get more business?”, approach them with a GIFT that they can take up or not, no strings attached.
Like… you “gift” them free relationship coaching sessions with you, except, tell them to gift them to others in their world who could use it.
They can tell their people, “Hey, here’s a voucher for a free relationship coaching session with my friend Ethel. It’s my gift to you — she gifted a limited number of them to me to offer it to people who could really use it, because everyone could use a little support once in a while. She’s amazing and there are no strings attached.”
Then they go out and float your name and expertise in rooms that you never would have reached on your own. And some of the people who take them up on the free sessions might (1) tell their people about you, or (2) feature you in something, or (3) become paying clients.
—
Inspired? Bubbling up with ideas that will work for YOU?
Amazing!
Now, here are some questions you might have.
“How do I write those pitches well, so they don’t drop to the bottom of the pile and actually get read and responded to?”
We got your back!! Come join Sam Garcia and me in our upcoming class, Cold Pitch Magic, and we are going to teach you the exact step-by-step.
“That sounds scary!!!”
Let’s be real, it IS! We will never pretend it isn’t scary.
But, come on… you wanted an alternative to posting and posting and posting to what feels like a giant fucking VOID on social media, hoping and praying the algorithm gods smile upon you one day, right?
If you want real results but don’t want to do it that way, something’s gotta give. You gotta put on your Big Human Panties, and make the asks.
It sure helps if you know how to do it in a value-aligned, heart-centered way. We’ll teach you how inside Cold Pitch Magic.
“What if I can’t immediately think of what podcast or people or publications to pitch to?”
We hear you! This is super normal, since not everyone is super well-connected.
You do have do some research… but Sam and I will show you different ways to do so.
NOW, ONTO THE DISCLAIMERS.
Cold Pitch Magic is NOT a shortcut that doesn’t involve effort. It will require thoughtfulness and some elbow grease.
And none of this is an overnight miracle.
The biggest and juiciest opportunities will find you when you’re committed and persistent enough to play the long game.
But I can assure you that (1) YOU ARE WORTH IT. What is inside you is worth it.
And (2) it is a helluva lot faster way to land big opportunities and big audiences than passively posting posting posting on social media, and hoping for the best.
And we got receipts to prove it.
Ready to get in on this magic?
Join us for Cold Pitch Magic, a 2-hour class that finally enable you to break up with social media… or allow you to DIVERSIFY your game, so that you no longer feel at the mercy of Zuckerberg.
