The year was 2014. While all the other dudes were covered in plaid, skinny jeans and beanies, this guy wore **bespoke Italian suits**.
He read philosophy and knew wine. Had the sad poet’s eyes that makes me go weak at the knees.
Jonah was so dang cute. And DEFINITELY flirting with me.
I was actually kind of mystified that he wasn’t asking me out. Like… “what the hell dude? i saw the way you look at me!”
I remember thinking… What if he’s just shy and we are meant to make babies and live happily ever after and NONE OF IT HAPPENED BECAUSE BOTH OF US WERE TOO CHICKEN TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE?!
Normally, I’m not the kind of person to make the first move. EVER.
I like to be *~pursued~*
But that time, something came over me. I thought to myself, “you know what? This time, I’m gonna do something out of character. LIFE IS TOO SHORT.”
So I said fuck it, took a big breath, and texted him…. “Hey, would you want to get dinner sometime?”
Cue heart palpitations!
He immediately texted back (yay!) but his response wasn’t what I was hoping for (boo!!) : “Aw man, I’d love to… but I have to be transparent with you, I do have a girlfriend”.
Womp womp womp!
But here’s the weird thing.
I remember walking home from work when I got that text… and guess what? Surprisingly, I didn’t feel terrible like I fully expected to.
I actually felt… kinda…. empowered? A little badass?
Like I’m no longer a little helpless damsel in distress waiting to be found and pursued.
Like I can ask for what I want. Even when it’s a guy.
And the world doesn’t end if I get a “no” and what really matters is that I BECOME THE KIND OF WOMAN WHO CAN ASK FOR THINGS.
Now, Jonah didn’t end up being my Forever Dude (thankfully, so he could make way for Panda Dad…
… but Being an Asker became a forever trait inside me. And that has been 1000000000000000x more valuable.
Because you know what? Life IS too short. And you’re no damsel in distress, waiting for rescue.
So… let me ask you. What makes YOU go weak at the knees? What opportunity is “flirting” with you?
Consider this a sign from the universe to go ask for it.
Ask for the sale.
Ask for the guest spot.
Ask for the stage.
Ask for the donation.
Then ask again. Ask bigger. Ask bolder.
If you’re making big and bold enough asks, you’ll get told “no” a lot. So freaking what?
Here’s what people don’t often realize about pitching yourself: what you’re really buying with all the asks is NOT other people’s “yes,” but SELF-RESPECT.
The self-respect of someone whose courage is bigger than their fear…. who leaps into the unknown because they know they’re their own damn knight in shining armor.
That’s the real prize.
And that self-respect…. tastes like *chef’s kiss*.
Better than Oprah personally declaring that you’re the most brilliant person she’s ever met…
… or better than a billion dollars or the roar of a stadium full of fans.
Sam Garcia and I are teaching a 2-hour class called Cold Pitch Magic on June 20th.
It’s $45.
Join us because, YES, we’re spilling the beans on exactly what goes into cold pitches that open hearts, wallets, and doors.
But equally important to us — if not more important — is that you’ll learn how to fast-track SPIRITUAL CONGRUENCE. The kind you feel when you’re taking bold action on your truest and squishiest dreams.
You’ll fall so much more deeply in love with yourself, and your life will feel so much more like yours.
P.S. — About Jonah… it turned out later that he was kind of a man whore — hence all the flirting with me while he had a girlfriend — and I dodged a huge bullet.
Just so you know… some no’s are definitely the universe protecting you on your way to get something much better! lol
Imagine writing someone who has no idea who you are…
… and a week later, you land a 5-figure contract with them.
That’s what Sam Garcia pulled off. With me.
That was 4 years ago, and hiring her remains one of the best decisions I ever made. She’s the best, and I thank God everyday that she was brave enough to pitch me.
So I asked her: “how do you do that thing you do?”
Sam told me all about her unique philosophy and process for cold pitching (and how much money it’s made her over the years — hint: it’s a LOT), and I was like “okay, this is GOLD and the world needs to know this YESTERDAY”.
So we decided to get together and do a one-time class called Cold Pitch Magic on June 20th. We thought it’d be fun.
And… you know what?
I changed my mind about why I REALLY want to do this.
And it’s not that the original reason doesn’t matter anymore. It really does.
But what has become even more pressing for me is that social media is a fucking dumpster fire.
People are fucking sick and tired to death of churning out “content”, feeling like they’re speaking into a void and hoping the fickle algorithm gods grant favor on them one day.
Meanwhile, your feed is a post-apocalyptic landfill of shallow, formulaic, dopamine-optimized noise. You’re no longer interacting with humans (remember Instagram circa 2012?). All you’re seeing is brands and A.I.-fortified “growth” strategies shoved endlessly down your throat.
But the terrible thing about social media is that people hate it AND they feel like they can’t leave.
So many folks tell me: “I don’t know what else to do! How else am I gonna get business?”
Well… here’s the thing. There IS an answer.
You get off social media. And talk to people who can hire you, refer you, or put you on a platform.
(Remember how it used to work… before Zuck colonized the world?)
Not churning out “content” to the ethers and hoping and waiting for someone to notice. But actually talking to another human being who can give you an advantage, a sale, a job, or a connection.
Especially if they don’t already know you. Because if your existing network of people who know you and love you were just going to hand you amazing opportunities on a platter… they would have already.
You need to know how to approach someone gracefully, and ask them for things in a way that leaves both parties feeling good, honored and dignified by the exchange and creates an opening for an aligned relationship, regardless of what the outcome is.
Because, let’s face it, sometimes the answer will be a “no”. But that “no” can absolutely bloom into something else later. It’s about genuine human connections, not using people as a means to an end.
THIS is the art of cold pitching done well, and THIS is what’s going to build your business without social media. Without this skill, if you don’t want to be on social media, you got nothing. I’m going to go as far as to say…. you’re kind of fucked.
Having these relational skills…. It’s everything. Everything. Not just for business. But for good human-ing in general.
Still squirming at the idea of cold pitching?
Want to avoid having to pitch folks 1:1 completely? Want to go on podcasts and give talks instead?
Awesome. I want you to do that. But how are you gonna get on podcast, or on that speaking stage, or be featured in that room — without talking to people first? You have to pitch yourself to land those platforms in the first place.
You can do this. And you can do it in a way that feels beautiful to your spirit AND have it actually work.
We’ve worked out the entire “how” — and got plenty of receipts to prove that this works.
So that’s why we’re really teaching this class.
Sam is a genius and a gem if you don’t know her work well yet, you will.
A note from my partner-in-crime Sam Garcia, that I want to share with you…
(This is all Sam, below ↓ )
A lot of people don’t know that I grew my business without social media.
I even hired my first full-time team member before having an “audience.”
I transitioned from “marketing freelancer” to “marketing agency owner” pretty seamlessly thanks to one simple email.
Properly timed.
Properly worded.
And beyond that… with my heart on my sleeve.
I know it’s “cool” to have thousands, or tens of thousands (or way more!!) people publicly declaring their approval of your work via that simple IG follow…
…to the point where people assign it as an indicator of success.
But it is NOT necessary for the business or impact you want.
Back to that email…
Almost a decade ago now I sent that email — the one that changed the entire trajectory of my entire career.
It was to someone I DREAMED of working with. Like, #1 person of all people I wanted to work with.
She had created an online course that changed my life. She was brilliant, funny, with a truly unique perspective of life as a whole.
And she said yes.
She said yes to a follow up call.
And then yes to the proposal I sent.
And we kept working together for years.
That one email opened so many doors.
To collaborations. To new clients. To me being able to hire people + raise my rates again and again.
It even allowed me the time freedom to build an “audience” over time, in alignment with my longer term goals.
This is the magic of a cold pitch, done right.
Cold pitches get a lot of flack. UNDERSTANDABLY.
Most cold pitches are like a guy at a bar asking out anything that moves. He doesn’t care about you – he just has 1 result he wants in mind.
But cold pitches – to the right people (people you yearn in your heart of hearts to work with), with the right prep and intentions and wording – can change the entire trajectory of your business.
They’re like portals to an entirely different reality.
On June 20, Simone Seol & I are leading a 2-hour workshop, called Cold Pitch Magic.
Cold pitches work for getting dream clients, securing dream jobs, fundraising for causes, getting free stuff, landing dream collaborations, selling your art, and so many other ways.
She is a luminous writer. And my teacher on all things antisemitism.
She just collaborated with an illustrator to bring her (previously very off-social media, and enormously influential) writing us a series of essays on building resistance to antisemitism within the context of organizing for Palestine.
I’ve posted a drawing of my own vulva on Instagram for the world to see.
I’ve written about my insecurities, failures and embarrassments in my marketing copy.
I have been called the Queen of Authenticity… but here’s what you might not have assumed: I am actually a fiercely private person.
What I show you are very carefully-selected pieces.
I have never shared about the biggest traumas of my life, and probably never will.
These are the kinds of things that will probably be tender inside me until the day I die… and are NOT for public consumption.
I do not share deeply about my marriage.
I talk about how wonderful my husband is, but the intimate reality of my relationship is way too precious for me to blab about to the world.
I don’t talk much about my Christian faith.
It’s something that is at the very heart of who I am, and I do not want to invite the projections, misunderstandings, questions and debates of the world onto the thing that is the most sacred to me.
I have very few “real life” close friends. With them, I share a history, intimacies, and a sense of humor that you will never see me air online.
Yes, what I show you is curated. But this isn’t me engineering a certain ‘image’ to manipulate your perception of me.
This is about respect.
I show MYSELF respect when I protect what is most tender, intimate, and precious inside me from the public.
And I show YOU respect when I do not put a responsibility on you that you have never consented to take on: that of safeguarding, honoring, and loving on my tenderest places in the very specific way that I require.
And yet, I am truthful with you.
I constantly challenge myself to be even more truthful with you in ways that are congruent with my values… and appropriate to the relationship we have.
Truthfulness does not equal dumping all of my shit on you to deal with.
Authenticity does not equal showing you all of my bleeding wounds so that you can feel like you now have to take care of me.
My friend, I love you. I would love to grow closer with you.
And we can only have a healthy relationship when we have boundaries that allow us to enjoy each other in ways that are safe for both of us…
… and incrementally move into greater degrees of intimacy with fully-informed, mutual consent at every step.
Want to build relationships like this in your business through your copywriting?
I will teach you how.
It’s all happening inside my new course, Writing with the Sword, which kicks off tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I’m dropping the very first transmission, which will…
obliterate the “I don’t know what to write about” syndrome for good
solve the “I don’t know who I’m supposed to write to” dilemma entirely, for all time, and for everyone (yes, that includes if you don’t know what your business is or what your offer is or if you are mid-transition)
bring the difference between extractive copywriting and humane copywriting into brutally clear light, and show you exactly how to opt out of the former
get you starting to write — in the company and support of hundreds of like-minded friends — in ways that immediately start to pull in the best allies for your business.
Want to learn copy from me, but you’re feeling energetically or financially overstretched? No worries. Your timing is the best timing, urgency is a lie, and there is no such thing as missing out.
Please know that the course is always going to be available for you to buy later as a self-study version.
And my game-changing masterclass that fired shots heard ’round the internets, which only costs $25: How to write specific copy
Enjoy. Go slow. Trust yourself. Trust your timing.
