Well, first, I google ways to disappear to a remote, uninhabited island where no human being can ever find me again.
Then, I take long, trembling breaths to keep my body from spontaneously exploding from the 826373-degree heat of shame.
Then I cry for a week and ask my husband 539 times to reassure me that I’m not an unlovable gargoyle.
Well, I’m exaggerating… but not by much.
All that’s to tell you this: I’m NOT some kind of sturdy beacon of confidence.
I have hella anxiety and rejection sensitivity, and if I can make lots of big bold cold pitches — and reap the rewards — SO CAN YOU.
Here are some things that help… I’ve had a lot of practice.
(1) Remind yourself that you and whoever you’re pitching are EQUALS.
I don’t care if they’re the President of the World. They’re not above you. They are not your Master or Overlord or God.
They are just a human being who farts and burps and has weird rashes and secret insecurities and are trying to figure their shit out, one day at a time.
(The above is true of even the most successful and confident person you can think of.)
And you’re not “below” them. You are a precious child of God, a one-in-8-billion spark of creation, the carrier of sacred soul mission and a unique medicine.
Know this. Feel this. Remember this.
(2) Know this: cold pitching — of the kind where you’re truly answering your dreamiest, squishiest desires — isn’t really about getting the “yes.”
Even though that’s the game we’re pretending to play, it’s actually for the relationship between you and your soul.
Something magical gets activated when you say, “Oh, what the hell, I’m just gonna ask them.”
EVEN IF all you get at first is a string of “no’s”…. I promise you that the mere act of asking will change your brain. It will change your posture. It will change your aura. It will even give your skin a new glow. (don’t ask me how it works… it just does.)
It will make the quantum field around you re-arrange itself around your desires.
And it will hugely expand your nervous system capacity to receive good things (appreciation, praise, money, etc) — and actually hold onto them.
THAT’S the magic.
And it is worth e-very-thing.
Look. I’m not gonna pretend like it’s easy to have a rejection-sensitive brain. (Studies show it often comes with ADHD. Sigh… wouldn’t I know it!)
It’s not. There will be emotional rollercoasters. There might be times when you’ll need to call your bestie to ask them to reassure you that you are not, in fact, an unlovable gargoyle.
But I also want to tell you this: you are worth it.
You’re worth that collaboration with the writer who changed your life, whom you’ve been admiring for the past 5 years.
You’re worth an audience of millions.
You’re worth the magazine feature.
You’re worth selling out your retreat.
Your work is worth it. What God planted inside you is worth it.
And rejection sensitivity is just a symptom of your extraordinary empathy and superior powers of perception…
… NOT a life sentence dooming you to smallness.
You can do this, and we want to show you how.
Our, Cold Pitch Magic, is in just two days…. and what my co-teacher Sam Garcia and I have got planned for you is truly, honest-to-God, life-changing.
Bring all of you.
And we’ve got the rest covered: the A-to-Z of how to make heart-centered, relationship-centering cold pitches that lead to quantum leaps in your life and business.
What to ask for, whom to ask, and how to ask to maximize that magical expansion thing I’m talking about…. we’re giving you ALL of it.
Feeling a little nauseated after a little harmless “let me just check how much engagement my last post got”…. turned into a 3-hour daze of mindless scrolling? AGAIN?
When you could’ve gone for a walk, organized your pantry, or practiced for your upcoming lipsync battle?
Well, guess what, I came up with an actual social media-free marketing strategy for you!
Yes. One that will actually work.
Due to the limitations of space and time, I cannot create a customized strategy for every single person reading this email….
… but I came up with a strategy for, say, a relationship coach.
If you’re not a relationship coach — which most of you aren’t — use your critical thinking skills and extrapolate how you can apply a similar process to YOUR thing, OKAY??
Y’all are a SMART BUNCH. I trust you.
Let’s go.
1 .Pitch yourself on bigger podcasts… that aren’t a competition.
If you’re a relationship coach, don’t just limit yourself to trying to get on bigger coach-y, relationship-y podcasts.
Sure, some of them might be interested… but they’re probably talking about similar things that you are, so you’re technically kinda in “competition” with each other. (Competition in quotes because I don’t actually believe in competition… but you know what I mean.)
Instead… think like this. In terms of your personal life…. are you into lifting weights?
Great. Pitch your favorite fitness podcasts to bring you on board to talk about strategies for getting healthier and stronger with your sweetie, even if your partner doesn’t seem to be into it. Strengthen your bod AND your relationship!
(Never even thought about that? Well, think about it now!)
Are you into celebrity gossip?
Pitch yourself as a relationship expert to pop culture podcasts so you can talk about the unique way YOU see the problems with Ben Affleck + J Lo’s marriage… and how you think they could mend it. (Or why you think it’s doomed!)
2. Pitch yourself to editors and blogs.
Write down those super-interesting expert thoughts on Bennifer’s marriage, turn it into an article, and pitch editors of online publications, or blogs that get a lot of traffic.
Now you’re a relationship expert, as featured on ___!!!
(Are you seeing the strategy here? Don’t just think about what you always think about… notice what other people are paying attention to, and get creative about finding the Venn diagram intersection!)
3. Pitch yourself to companies.
Find companies that seem value-aligned with you.
And pitch yourself to be featured as part of corporate wellness events. Offer to do a talk on creating healthy relationships, both at home AND at the workplace.
Whatever your ‘thing’ is, never underestimate the diversity of places where people might find it useful.
4. Pitch yourself to conferences.
There are specific conferences happening all the time OUTSIDE of your niche: nutrition, women’s empowerment, mental health, spiritual healing, sustainability, environmental activism…
What are YOU into? Let’s say, you really care about environmental activism.
Find an angle where your relationship expertise can bring unique value, such as… how you can 5x the impact of environmental activism by doing it as a team effort with your partner — and as a bonus, how that can strengthen your relationship, as well!
And then pitch yourself as a featured speaker, or to lead a session.
5. If you know someone who is well-connected, approach them with GENEROSITY.
Let’s say, your friend from college is big in the PR world. Or your cousin is a knitting influencer on Youtube, and knows a lot of other influencers.
You like them, and they like you.
Instead of saying, “hey, can you hook me up for me so I can get more business?”, approach them with a GIFT that they can take up or not, no strings attached.
Like… you “gift” them free relationship coaching sessions with you, except, tell them to gift them to others in their world who could use it.
They can tell their people, “Hey, here’s a voucher for a free relationship coaching session with my friend Ethel. It’s my gift to you — she gifted a limited number of them to me to offer it to people who could really use it, because everyone could use a little support once in a while. She’s amazing and there are no strings attached.”
Then they go out and float your name and expertise in rooms that you never would have reached on your own. And some of the people who take them up on the free sessions might (1) tell their people about you, or (2) feature you in something, or (3) become paying clients.
—
Inspired? Bubbling up with ideas that will work for YOU?
Amazing!
Now, here are some questions you might have.
“How do I write those pitches well, so they don’t drop to the bottom of the pile and actually get read and responded to?”
We got your back!! Come join Sam Garcia and me in our upcoming class, Cold Pitch Magic, and we are going to teach you the exact step-by-step.
“That sounds scary!!!”
Let’s be real, it IS! We will never pretend it isn’t scary.
But, come on… you wanted an alternative to posting and posting and posting to what feels like a giant fucking VOID on social media, hoping and praying the algorithm gods smile upon you one day, right?
If you want real results but don’t want to do it that way, something’s gotta give. You gotta put on your Big Human Panties, and make the asks.
It sure helps if you know how to do it in a value-aligned, heart-centered way. We’ll teach you how inside Cold Pitch Magic.
“What if I can’t immediately think of what podcast or people or publications to pitch to?”
We hear you! This is super normal, since not everyone is super well-connected.
You do have do some research… but Sam and I will show you different ways to do so.
NOW, ONTO THE DISCLAIMERS.
Cold Pitch Magic is NOT a shortcut that doesn’t involve effort. It will require thoughtfulness and some elbow grease.
And none of this is an overnight miracle.
The biggest and juiciest opportunities will find you when you’re committed and persistent enough to play the long game.
But I can assure you that (1) YOU ARE WORTH IT. What is inside you is worth it.
And (2) it is a helluva lot faster way to land big opportunities and big audiences than passively posting posting posting on social media, and hoping for the best.
And we got receipts to prove it.
Ready to get in on this magic?
Join us for Cold Pitch Magic, a 2-hour class that finally enable you to break up with social media… or allow you to DIVERSIFY your game, so that you no longer feel at the mercy of Zuckerberg.
The year was 2014. While all the other dudes were covered in plaid, skinny jeans and beanies, this guy wore **bespoke Italian suits**.
He read philosophy and knew wine. Had the sad poet’s eyes that makes me go weak at the knees.
Jonah was so dang cute. And DEFINITELY flirting with me.
I was actually kind of mystified that he wasn’t asking me out. Like… “what the hell dude? i saw the way you look at me!”
I remember thinking… What if he’s just shy and we are meant to make babies and live happily ever after and NONE OF IT HAPPENED BECAUSE BOTH OF US WERE TOO CHICKEN TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE?!
Normally, I’m not the kind of person to make the first move. EVER.
I like to be *~pursued~*
But that time, something came over me. I thought to myself, “you know what? This time, I’m gonna do something out of character. LIFE IS TOO SHORT.”
So I said fuck it, took a big breath, and texted him…. “Hey, would you want to get dinner sometime?”
Cue heart palpitations!
He immediately texted back (yay!) but his response wasn’t what I was hoping for (boo!!) : “Aw man, I’d love to… but I have to be transparent with you, I do have a girlfriend”.
Womp womp womp!
But here’s the weird thing.
I remember walking home from work when I got that text… and guess what? Surprisingly, I didn’t feel terrible like I fully expected to.
I actually felt… kinda…. empowered? A little badass?
Like I’m no longer a little helpless damsel in distress waiting to be found and pursued.
Like I can ask for what I want. Even when it’s a guy.
And the world doesn’t end if I get a “no” and what really matters is that I BECOME THE KIND OF WOMAN WHO CAN ASK FOR THINGS.
Now, Jonah didn’t end up being my Forever Dude (thankfully, so he could make way for Panda Dad…
… but Being an Asker became a forever trait inside me. And that has been 1000000000000000x more valuable.
Because you know what? Life IS too short. And you’re no damsel in distress, waiting for rescue.
So… let me ask you. What makes YOU go weak at the knees? What opportunity is “flirting” with you?
Consider this a sign from the universe to go ask for it.
Ask for the sale.
Ask for the guest spot.
Ask for the stage.
Ask for the donation.
Then ask again. Ask bigger. Ask bolder.
If you’re making big and bold enough asks, you’ll get told “no” a lot. So freaking what?
Here’s what people don’t often realize about pitching yourself: what you’re really buying with all the asks is NOT other people’s “yes,” but SELF-RESPECT.
The self-respect of someone whose courage is bigger than their fear…. who leaps into the unknown because they know they’re their own damn knight in shining armor.
That’s the real prize.
And that self-respect…. tastes like *chef’s kiss*.
Better than Oprah personally declaring that you’re the most brilliant person she’s ever met…
… or better than a billion dollars or the roar of a stadium full of fans.
Sam Garcia and I are teaching a 2-hour class called Cold Pitch Magic on June 20th.
It’s $45.
Join us because, YES, we’re spilling the beans on exactly what goes into cold pitches that open hearts, wallets, and doors.
But equally important to us — if not more important — is that you’ll learn how to fast-track SPIRITUAL CONGRUENCE. The kind you feel when you’re taking bold action on your truest and squishiest dreams.
You’ll fall so much more deeply in love with yourself, and your life will feel so much more like yours.
P.S. — About Jonah… it turned out later that he was kind of a man whore — hence all the flirting with me while he had a girlfriend — and I dodged a huge bullet.
Just so you know… some no’s are definitely the universe protecting you on your way to get something much better! lol
Imagine writing someone who has no idea who you are…
… and a week later, you land a 5-figure contract with them.
That’s what Sam Garcia pulled off. With me.
That was 4 years ago, and hiring her remains one of the best decisions I ever made. She’s the best, and I thank God everyday that she was brave enough to pitch me.
So I asked her: “how do you do that thing you do?”
Sam told me all about her unique philosophy and process for cold pitching (and how much money it’s made her over the years — hint: it’s a LOT), and I was like “okay, this is GOLD and the world needs to know this YESTERDAY”.
So we decided to get together and do a one-time class called Cold Pitch Magic on June 20th. We thought it’d be fun.
And… you know what?
I changed my mind about why I REALLY want to do this.
And it’s not that the original reason doesn’t matter anymore. It really does.
But what has become even more pressing for me is that social media is a fucking dumpster fire.
People are fucking sick and tired to death of churning out “content”, feeling like they’re speaking into a void and hoping the fickle algorithm gods grant favor on them one day.
Meanwhile, your feed is a post-apocalyptic landfill of shallow, formulaic, dopamine-optimized noise. You’re no longer interacting with humans (remember Instagram circa 2012?). All you’re seeing is brands and A.I.-fortified “growth” strategies shoved endlessly down your throat.
But the terrible thing about social media is that people hate it AND they feel like they can’t leave.
So many folks tell me: “I don’t know what else to do! How else am I gonna get business?”
Well… here’s the thing. There IS an answer.
You get off social media. And talk to people who can hire you, refer you, or put you on a platform.
(Remember how it used to work… before Zuck colonized the world?)
Not churning out “content” to the ethers and hoping and waiting for someone to notice. But actually talking to another human being who can give you an advantage, a sale, a job, or a connection.
Especially if they don’t already know you. Because if your existing network of people who know you and love you were just going to hand you amazing opportunities on a platter… they would have already.
You need to know how to approach someone gracefully, and ask them for things in a way that leaves both parties feeling good, honored and dignified by the exchange and creates an opening for an aligned relationship, regardless of what the outcome is.
Because, let’s face it, sometimes the answer will be a “no”. But that “no” can absolutely bloom into something else later. It’s about genuine human connections, not using people as a means to an end.
THIS is the art of cold pitching done well, and THIS is what’s going to build your business without social media. Without this skill, if you don’t want to be on social media, you got nothing. I’m going to go as far as to say…. you’re kind of fucked.
Having these relational skills…. It’s everything. Everything. Not just for business. But for good human-ing in general.
Still squirming at the idea of cold pitching?
Want to avoid having to pitch folks 1:1 completely? Want to go on podcasts and give talks instead?
Awesome. I want you to do that. But how are you gonna get on podcast, or on that speaking stage, or be featured in that room — without talking to people first? You have to pitch yourself to land those platforms in the first place.
You can do this. And you can do it in a way that feels beautiful to your spirit AND have it actually work.
We’ve worked out the entire “how” — and got plenty of receipts to prove that this works.
So that’s why we’re really teaching this class.
Sam is a genius and a gem if you don’t know her work well yet, you will.
A note from my partner-in-crime Sam Garcia, that I want to share with you…
(This is all Sam, below ↓ )
A lot of people don’t know that I grew my business without social media.
I even hired my first full-time team member before having an “audience.”
I transitioned from “marketing freelancer” to “marketing agency owner” pretty seamlessly thanks to one simple email.
Properly timed.
Properly worded.
And beyond that… with my heart on my sleeve.
I know it’s “cool” to have thousands, or tens of thousands (or way more!!) people publicly declaring their approval of your work via that simple IG follow…
…to the point where people assign it as an indicator of success.
But it is NOT necessary for the business or impact you want.
Back to that email…
Almost a decade ago now I sent that email — the one that changed the entire trajectory of my entire career.
It was to someone I DREAMED of working with. Like, #1 person of all people I wanted to work with.
She had created an online course that changed my life. She was brilliant, funny, with a truly unique perspective of life as a whole.
And she said yes.
She said yes to a follow up call.
And then yes to the proposal I sent.
And we kept working together for years.
That one email opened so many doors.
To collaborations. To new clients. To me being able to hire people + raise my rates again and again.
It even allowed me the time freedom to build an “audience” over time, in alignment with my longer term goals.
This is the magic of a cold pitch, done right.
Cold pitches get a lot of flack. UNDERSTANDABLY.
Most cold pitches are like a guy at a bar asking out anything that moves. He doesn’t care about you – he just has 1 result he wants in mind.
But cold pitches – to the right people (people you yearn in your heart of hearts to work with), with the right prep and intentions and wording – can change the entire trajectory of your business.
They’re like portals to an entirely different reality.
On June 20, Simone Seol & I are leading a 2-hour workshop, called Cold Pitch Magic.
Cold pitches work for getting dream clients, securing dream jobs, fundraising for causes, getting free stuff, landing dream collaborations, selling your art, and so many other ways.
