Enoughness doesn’t mean mere survival

Jan 16, 2025 | 0 comments

Some people, when I talk about attuning to “enoughness”, misunderstand me as saying, you should be content with the minimum that allows them to get by without dying of hunger.

Nope, nope, nope.

Have you taken a vow of poverty? Have you renounced the world to devote yourself to an ascetic spiritual life? 

If not, “enough” means so much more than “the bare minimum you need to not DIE.”

Human beings need food, shelter, clean water, and some clothes that protect us from the elements.

These are the bare minimum that we need to survive.

Let’s say all of humanity — all 8 billion of us — achieved this. Woohoo! That’s an accomplishment, right? Everyone having enough to be materially safe.

But imagine that that’s where it ended. Let’s say no one had the tiniest extra thing more. 

You want to paint? Sorry, no paintbrushes for you. You’re not gonna die without it.

You want to form a band with your friends? Sorry, no musical instruments for you. You’re not gonna die without it.

You want to read books of poetry, make sculptures, build a playground for children? You want a hammock for naps, and extra coconut butter to soften your skin and hair? An altar and offerings for your gods? Nope. You’re not gonna die without any of that.

You have enough to survive. Be happy with that.

Would you want to live in that world?

I’m guessing not.

There’s surviving by meeting biological needs.

And then there’s flourishing, by meeting emotional, psychological, aesthetic, relational, and spiritual needs. 

 I want you to be able to flourish.

When I talk about knowing what is ‘enough’ for you, it’s actually useful to know both numbers.

What is an “enough for sheer survival” number? (That matters.)

And what is an “enough for me to flourish as my fully expressed, most joyful self” number?

Do you need paintbrushes, rose-scented perfumes, weighted blankets, regular trips to the beach, money to help out your friends and family from time to time? Then you gotta factor that into your “enough for flourishing” number.

To be sure, the number is not an easy thing to arrive at. 

For about a year now, I’ve been studying myself, me and my family’s basic survival needs, as well as what our needs are for our maximum flourishing. 

What exactly does that include? What do those things cost? What if our needs and priorities change? What if this happens? What if that happens?

When you’re trying to plan for future contingencies in an ever-complicated world and/or have dependents, this gets even more hairy.

I still don’t have an exact figure yet. 

But, through a whole year of thinking about it and talking to my friends and advisors about it, I have a much clearer sense of what my values are, how to express them through money, and a a better sense of the range of numbers I need to be thinking about.

All of that has directly shaped how I make plans for my business. 

And awareness is power.

So I don’t expect you to be able to arrive at a clear-cut number right away.

You will, most likely, have to do some investigation into yourself, your world, and the future you want first. 

And it will most likely be a dynamic process, and an ongoing journey of learning and iterating, rather than deciding that a number must be written in stone.

But engaging in that process left me feeling so much more purposeful and empowered about what I’m doing with my money and life. 

So, if you resonate, I recommend that for you.

I wish for your survival and safety.

But even more than that, I wish for your flourishing. 

Because you get to.

Because you’re worthy of it. 

Not to toot my own horn, but

Dec 18, 2024 | 0 comments

Guys.

I’m not here to toot my own horns and talk about how great I am.

Because 1. that’s not the point of why we’re here, and 2. The quality of my work should be evidenced by the change it makes in YOUR lives, not by me talking about how great I am.

But there’s something I need to tell you that you might never know because the information is intentionally obscured from you.

I know of almost no one in the online business coaching who makes revenue at the range that I have for the past 5 years (well over 10 million, haven’t done the exact math)….

… who spends on ads a little as I do (I spend almost nothing because I never bought into the idea that it was some kind of magic solution and anyway, it always felt so boring to try to work on it)…

… who has as few business expenses as I do (because I have an incredibly lean team and business structure, and we simplify and bootstrap almost everything, which means I spend money on almost nothing except things that directly impact client experiences, like accessibility)…

… and therefore has as high a profit margin as I do (i almost never take home less than 70% of my total revenue, and that number would be even higher if I didn’t insist on paying my people extremely well)…

… while working with a team who shows up for me and has my back like we’re family… 

… while also having a sliding scale pricing system and especially in the past couple years, no reliance on high ticket offers…

…. while also using my platform vigorously and unapologetically for social justice issues and fundraising for those causes.

I say this NOT to toot my own horn but to let you know there are ways to make money AND THEN THERE ARE WAYS TO MAKE MONEY.

The “how” you buy into matters enormously in terms of your mental health, quality of life, and how much money you actually end up with in your pocket. 

Juggling complex systems, lots of hiring and outsourcing, fancy bells and whistles that project an illusion of success, prioritizing short term cash, constantly looking to giant-corporation-dependent “conversion” processes (like ads) to save you may make you money… but at what cost?

You can train your own mind to be the most powerful tool you have for business growth.

You can partner with your own spirit to get the highest-quality guidance about where to go next. Better than any fancy consultant you can hire.

You can nourish your human-to-human relationships with honesty, generosity and genuine care so that your community becomes your very insurance against ever-volatile trends. 

Not all business coaching is built the same.

Trust what feels right and good to your heart.

Know that you can have a good business, do good for the world, and be surrounded by a community of people who pay you AND are with you, through thick and thin, for the long haul because they’re primarily invested in your HEART, not your transactions.

I want better for you. 

That is all. 

My 2023 revenue details

Feb 5, 2024 | 0 comments

Wanna know what happens when you stop launching for a year…?

I’m going to tell you… I’m revealing my revenue figures from last year, but there is a bit of a story first.

Early in 2023, I decided that I needed a break. After a handful of years of creating and launching nonstop, I needed to…. just STOP.

I didn’t have a masterplan for what to do instead, or when to get back into it or anything. All I knew was that whatever has been happening is no longer sustainable to continue, and that I must simply STOP, let the chips fall where they may, and figure out what’s next one day at a time.

If that sounds terrifying, it kind of was… 

That said, it’s not like I completely stopped work. I did keep up the baseline of existing commitments. However, I scrapped plans, shooed away all new opportunity and completely stopped launching for most of the year (until Slumber Party, which took place in December, was my only launch in all of 2023).

Every time my brain offered me a new business idea, I said to myself: “Nope. Not now.”

So, what was I doing instead? I “cleaned house”. I cleared some shit out that clearly no longer belonged in my world anymore, I broke some shit and sat with the broken pieces, and sat and sat and sat and sat…. until I felt completely done sitting.

Sounds dramatic? Yep, it was… it was actually so painful at times. But that’s a story for another day. I promise I’ll tell you some other time.

Now, thanks to how well my business did in previous years, I fortunately had the cushion to basically “coast” for a while — an immense privilege I am endlessly grateful for.

Even so, it was going to be a big change. Going from “always selling something” mode to “selling nothing” mode, I was expecting a big drop in income. But I wasn’t sure how much.

Well, I found out. And I get to tell you, too.

Here we go.

My total 2023 revenue: $1.57 million (by the way, this is less than 1/3 of the previous year)

My flagship program: $1.2 million (Joyful Marketing, which became HOME):

Slumber Party: $257K (the only new thing I live-launched at the end of the year)

My pre-recorded classes (mostly pre-recorded classes costing $25) brought in nearly $170K.

Looking back at these numbers, a few things struck me.

First thought: well DAMN. Honestly, I kind of can’t believe we pulled THAT while not launching at all 11 months out of the year.

How was I able to make that much? I believe the answer is: the quality of products, reputation and community I had built around my business in previous years. For that, I am proud of myself, and so grateful for the miraculous ecosystem of people and ideas I get to play in. THANK YOU.

Second thing: notice… I no longer have high-ticket programs. I retired my mastermind with a 5-figure price tag a couple years ago. The most expensive thing you can buy from me right now is $1,500 or $3,500 (tiered options, depending on your financial circumstance).

And significant chunk of my revenue came from $25 and $100 classes. This is something I am celebrating big, because I love that I got to prove to myself and my community that you can have a healthy 7-figure business without relying on high ticket items.

I might bring back high ticket items one day, but I know I love what my business looks like without them.

Third, let me share a few observations about intentionally making less money.

Of course, this is all soooooo much easier to do when you have a cushion. And making “less” money for me is still a crazy huge amount for most people.

But don’t make the mistake of thinking that objectively having “enough” in the bank means it’s easier to take the foot off the gas.

You probably know many stressed out workaholics who have enough money but just can’t stop worrying and hustling for the next milestone. Many can’t slow down even when they do have a cushion, because the fear of “I’m just gonna bleed money from here on and everything’s going to fall apart and I’m going to eventually end up on the streets” is emotional, not purely rational.

This shit is conditioned in the nervous system, not logic… and it’s often passed down from generation to generation.

For many years, I did very intentionally work on recalibrating my nervous system to feel safe independent of the number in the bank account. A lot of intentional work on money and safety.

And in 2023, I found that I was able to access more unconditional trust in myself than I was ever capable of before. I didn’t need to see money constantly coming in to feel safe. I didn’t need to be achieving more and more to like myself.

I even had a convo with my husband, where we talked about how we would both go out and find jobs again if my business just completely stopped being profitable, and we’d depleted all our savings. We talked about the steps we’d take. It would be a change… but we’d make it work. That was a scenario we were 100% willing to face.

Having said that, I’d be lying if I said I felt 100% chill throughout 2023. I most definitely did NOT. There were moments of big meltdowns. But the journey was made a LOT easier thanks to the work I’d already done in previous years.

Now I feel emotionally and spiritually more resilient than ever. More in love with who I am outside of all the business-related identities.

And I’m proud of myself for that, and grateful for the space in which I could do this work.

Why am I sharing these things?

Every year, I share my revenue numbers even though I don’t owe anyone this info (except the IRS, I guess) because this kind of information is so unnecessarily shrouded by secrecy in the online business world. And I hate that.

Without transparency, what spreads is all kinds of illusions and distortions that have little to do with reality, and nothing good grows from that environment. If I can do a small part to change that, I will.

Moreover, it would have meant the world to me when I was starting out to see this kind of honest sharing from someone that I looked up to, who is a little bit ahead of me in the journey.

It would have helped me to contextualize my own journey, move “money stuff” from out of the shadows into the light in my own mind, and give me a more concrete sense of what’s possible for me down the line.

Please know that that is why I share.

Now, I have a lot more thoughts to share with you about money, work, rest, sabbatical, and creativity.

All of that is coming up.

I am so grateful to be alive today.

Thank you for walking alongside me.

Onward with the year of the dragon.

Terrible reasons to raise your price

Feb 17, 2023 | 0 comments

I love being well-paid. I believe an angel gains a wing every time a practitioner with real skills gets paid handsomely. I often talk people into charge more.

AND here are some terrible reasons to raise your price.

1. “That’s what other people are doing.”

So what? You have no idea if they’re even selling successfully at that price. Higher prices does NOT mean someone’s making more money (take it from me, who coaches people everyday who are struggling AF to sell high ticket offers.)

Also, there’s a lot of gross industry practices that feed on evaluating the worthiness/readiness of clients based on how much they’re able to pay, thereby jacking up average prices. That’s… fucked. Just because it’s a common practice, doesn’t mean you have to jump on board.

2. “I can work less and make more money.”

This is sometimes a valid reason. But it is a bad reason if it’s the PRIMARY reason you’re raising your rates. Your clients shouldn’t have to pay more just because you don’t feel like working.

And moreover, this concerns me because it is literally bad for business — as in, it will slow down your business growth.

When you’re not rock-solid in your skills and demand, and you try to “charge more so I can work less” now, that’s trading the ILLUSION of “more cash now” for the reality of a robustly profitable business later.

3. “Because I’m worth it.”

My love, I know you’re worth it. A hundred times over. That’s not in question. 

Your pricing is NOT a representation of your worth, or the value of working with you, both of which are infinite.

Your price is determined by the intersection of (1) how good you are at your job, and (2) the demand for your services that is created by your reputation. 

I don’t care if you do a better job helping people than Tony Robbins. He’s worked his whole life to build a reputation, so he has more demand. 

Want demand? 

Go out, carry yourself like a professional, be confident, kind, honest, and generous, and benefit many people as possible with what you know how to do.

If you keep the focus on doing that, your reputation (and therefore demand) will take care of itself. And raising your prices will be a no-brainer.

4. “Because I already invested so much in myself and I want my business to pay off already.”

This is gonna sound harsh, but I say this with love: you clients don’t give a shit how much you invested in. 

And they most definitely did NOT ask for the responsibility to solve your finances.

This is a self-serving reason which will ultimately show up as a weird energetic incongruence that will subtly repel clients no matter how hard you market.

5. “Because I CAN (also known as: because people will pay it, because I can get away with it)”

This, too, is sometimes a valid reason. Sometimes, you should absolutely charge something because you can.

I’ve worked incredibly hard over the years to create a ginormous body of work that gives outsize value to tens of thousands of people weekly. An hour of my time now is much more valuable than it was, say, 5 years ago… and I will charge handsomely for anything that requires my time and energy.

If you have high-end “luxury” type positioning, and have a proven track record of correspondingly high quality of client results to back it up, it makes sense to charge a lot.  

(And I love luxury, I believe there is a place in the world for fine, exquisitely-crafted, highest-quality, expensive things, and will always advocate for its existence and defend it.)

But also, there is such a thing as a self-serving price hike. Whatever that douche pharma bro’s name was… he charged a gazillion dollars for a lifesaving drug because he “could,” cutting off access to people who would get sick and die without it.

Granted, that’s an extreme example. Nobody will get sick or die because they couldn’t buy life coaching, for example.

(Okay, that’s debatable… but you know what I mean. If you try to equate coaching with an essential diabetes drug, you are also a douche.)

But, to avoid going down a sketchy slippery slope, you want to be mindful of (1) making the price reflective of actual VALUE delivered, and (2) not having your price be a giant middle finger to people who WOULD be good fits for what you have, and would suffer without access.

In the end, at some level all pricing is arbitrary, this is your personal decision, and no one else can tell you what the right number is.

I’m always incredibly wary of all morality police…

… and I’m even more wary of those who associate “goodness” with financial martyrdom, and think people in any helping profession should get by with as little as possible. I have always argued that this is actually an insidious form of sexist oppression, as “helping professions” tend to be women-dominated. Fuck that. I love being financially comfortable and want you to be the same.

But the point is this: we’ll all be better off when pricing, in some way, remains tethered to actual value and the realities of the people the product is meant to serve, and isn’t a giant “fuck you” to the majority of the world.