Simone Seol
Here for humans who want to human more humanely.
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Business / Cold Pitching / Copywriting / Decolonization / Inspiration and Encouragement / Mental Health / Money / Personal Stuff / Philosophical-ish Musings / Sales / Social Justice
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The highest-ROI activity
Something that is super simple to do and underrated is gaslighting yourself into thinking you’re really hot.
If you haven’t done this, I highly recommend it.
I say to myself “you’re so cute” every time I pass by a mirror and always hype myself up about how good-looking I am.
The key here is to NOT connect it to specific features (“i have good legs”) or states (“i look good when …”) it’s an all-encompassing, unconditional, generalized “I’M SO CUTE IT’S NOT FAIR”.
Whenever anyone makes a less than flattering remark about my looks, I am literally confused because do you have eyes?
Literally (1) no one is stopping you from doing this, (2) it costs ZERO dollars to do this, and (3) the ROI is incredible.
Enoughness doesn’t mean mere survival
Some people, when I talk about attuning to “enoughness”, misunderstand me as saying, you should be content with the minimum that allows them to get by without dying of hunger.
Nope, nope, nope.
Have you taken a vow of poverty? Have you renounced the world to devote yourself to an ascetic spiritual life?
If not, “enough” means so much more than “the bare minimum you need to not DIE.”
Human beings need food, shelter, clean water, and some clothes that protect us from the elements.
These are the bare minimum that we need to survive.
Let’s say all of humanity — all 8 billion of us — achieved this. Woohoo! That’s an accomplishment, right? Everyone having enough to be materially safe.
But imagine that that’s where it ended. Let’s say no one had the tiniest extra thing more.
You want to paint? Sorry, no paintbrushes for you. You’re not gonna die without it.
You want to form a band with your friends? Sorry, no musical instruments for you. You’re not gonna die without it.
You want to read books of poetry, make sculptures, build a playground for children? You want a hammock for naps, and extra coconut butter to soften your skin and hair? An altar and offerings for your gods? Nope. You’re not gonna die without any of that.
You have enough to survive. Be happy with that.
Would you want to live in that world?
I’m guessing not.
There’s surviving by meeting biological needs.
And then there’s flourishing, by meeting emotional, psychological, aesthetic, relational, and spiritual needs.
I want you to be able to flourish.
When I talk about knowing what is ‘enough’ for you, it’s actually useful to know both numbers.
What is an “enough for sheer survival” number? (That matters.)
And what is an “enough for me to flourish as my fully expressed, most joyful self” number?
Do you need paintbrushes, rose-scented perfumes, weighted blankets, regular trips to the beach, money to help out your friends and family from time to time? Then you gotta factor that into your “enough for flourishing” number.
To be sure, the number is not an easy thing to arrive at.
For about a year now, I’ve been studying myself, me and my family’s basic survival needs, as well as what our needs are for our maximum flourishing.
What exactly does that include? What do those things cost? What if our needs and priorities change? What if this happens? What if that happens?
When you’re trying to plan for future contingencies in an ever-complicated world and/or have dependents, this gets even more hairy.
I still don’t have an exact figure yet.
But, through a whole year of thinking about it and talking to my friends and advisors about it, I have a much clearer sense of what my values are, how to express them through money, and a a better sense of the range of numbers I need to be thinking about.
All of that has directly shaped how I make plans for my business.
And awareness is power.
So I don’t expect you to be able to arrive at a clear-cut number right away.
You will, most likely, have to do some investigation into yourself, your world, and the future you want first.
And it will most likely be a dynamic process, and an ongoing journey of learning and iterating, rather than deciding that a number must be written in stone.
But engaging in that process left me feeling so much more purposeful and empowered about what I’m doing with my money and life.
So, if you resonate, I recommend that for you.
I wish for your survival and safety.
But even more than that, I wish for your flourishing.
Because you get to.
Because you’re worthy of it.
My hack for finding the BEST answer to every problem
Find a Black woman, or Black queer person talking about it, and listen to them.
If you have a problem worth spending money on, hire them.
If you’re skeptical about that, and doubtful that the color of one’s skin makes someone automatically more qualified (and I really agree with that), allow me to explain why.
I guess not all, but an overwhelming majority of man-made problems plaguing our world today are a result of colonization and white supremacy. Everything from housing insecurity to your personal insecurities.
And here’s the thing.
Non-Black people of color (like myself) have a different relationship to white supremacy than Black people.
Non-Black people of color (like myself) were extended a promise — which has always been an illusion and a lie, but white folks perpetuated it hard and for a long time — that we have a chance of sitting with white people and benefiting from their privilege as long as we did the right things.
As long as we spoke English. With the right accent. As long as we worked hard. As long as we renounced and shamed our own traditions and people. As long as we were willing to forget historical harm perpetuated to us. As long as we ate the right food, mimicked white habits, and glorified white ideals and norms.
let me be clear, this was always an illusion and a lie. We were never, ever going to sit at their table and fully share their privileges. They wouldn’t have it.
But we were offered the scraps, and told — if you get in line, you’ll get more. And one day, you’ll be able to have ALL of it.
Just keep being/doing more of what we told you.
Many of us — often out of wanting to just survive, and sometimes out of ambition — swallowed that lie hard and deep.
And fell in line with what white supremacy told us.
And here’s the thing: that same lie was never sold to Black people, and particularly Black women.
The message, for so long, continuing into today, was crystal clear.
“No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be one of us, you’ll never sit at our table. And in fact, the harder you try, the more we’ll deride and punish you.”
This is the reason why Black folks in general, and Black women (and queer folks!) in particular, have the clearest view of reality, and the best access to wisdom about what’s really fucked up about the world and how to fix it.
They didn’t have a choice as to whether to buy into the lies of white supremacy. Because they were systematically excluded from even being offered crumbs that came with “willing” subjugation and compliance.
From the beginning, Black folks (and particularly women and queer people) had no choice to see reality for exactly what it is.
They didn’t have the choice of buying into their own oppression the way non-Black people of color did. So, in a way, they were “forced” into clarity about the entire death cult that is white supremacy.
White supremacy doesn’t benefit white people either. In fact, white people are poisoned by it. Any system that is premised on anti-human principles, poisons those who buy into it.
The same way the patriarchy poisons men.
If you’re white, you both participate in, and are harmed by, white supremacy.
That’s why I say — regardless of whether you’re white or yellow or brown, if you want the answer, go to Black people.
Go to Black women and queer people.
They are the greatest experts and pioneers on whatever problem that you’re trying to solve — whether it’s business growth or relationship issues or nutrition — which has been inevitably created by, and/or perpetuated by white supremacy. Because white supremacy has extended its poisonous tentacles to every area of life.
Sometimes it’s a struggle to find Black teachers. Not because there aren’t a lot of them (there’s TONS AND TONS of them who are way, way more qualified and experienced than the average white counterpart), but because white supremacy has intentionally undermined and silenced them and punished them for doing the same things that white people are rewarded for.
But that’s even more of a reason you should seek them out. Don’t give up on the first day of your search. Tell everyone what you need help with, and tell them that you’re specifically looking for Black teachers, consultants, speakers, and coaches. Keep searching. Follow the breadcrumbs of information.
I’m not primarily following Black creators/teachers for some kind of social justice reason.
I’m following them because they have the best information about how to get from where I am and where I want to go.
History has forced them to be 10x more qualified and 100x more insightful than everyone else.
I feel a little nervous posting this, only because talking pointedly about a group of people I don’t belong to feels… a little risky.
But I have to say it out loud because I wish someone had told ME this long ago. It would have saved me soooo much time and wasted effort.
I’m Simone Seol
I am here for humans who want to human more humanely.
Business / Cold Pitching / Copywriting / Decolonization / Inspiration and Encouragement / Mental Health / Money / Personal Stuff / Philosophical-ish Musings / Sales / Social Justice