Please pay attention! This is important.
Whether you’re selling services, or products, or fundraising for a cause, you‘re just trying to do one thing: GET SOMEONE TO PART WITH THEIR HARD-EARNED MONEY.
It sounds weird when you put it like that, but that’s the truth.
When I market something to you, I’m essentially saying: gimme some of your money.
Does that make you uncomfortable?
Why?
An exchange of money is inherently morally neutral. It’s how and why we do it that makes something ethical or not.
And if we are committed to doing it ethically, we’re saying — and genuinely mean it when we say — your money will be better off in my pocket than yours, because what I give you in return is genuinely more valuable TO YOU than that.
And specific neurochemical processes must take place in order for someone to get there. I want you to know what they are.
I distilled it to 4 steps, and each step is a requirement for the next step.
Here we go. Grab a notebook and pen and take notes.
FIRST STEP: CONGRUENCE.
The very first step for creating unconscious influence is YOU being congruent. This is you saying what you mean. Your external presentation matching your inner truth. The way you show up truly reflecting your values.
People can subtly sense when someone is saying one thing but really means another. Congruence is when that’s NOT happpening.
Basically, being real and sincere. All ethical marketing must start here. If you miss this first step (as many people do), the rest of it falls apart.
SECOND STEP: RAPPORT
Once someone senses that you are congruent, they open up to be able to build rapport with you.
Rapport is “hmm, I feel connected to them. I feel like I can trust them. I want to lean in and get to know them more!”
This is also where a lot of marketing fails. People try to shove information about their products down people’s throats without ever having taken the time and effort to build trust + connection based on their congruence. Create rapport first, and then the rest can happen.
THIRD STEP: EXPLORATION AND EXPANSION
Once you’ve built rapport with someone, you have the opportunity to help them explore new possibilities, expand their knowledge, and change their thinking about something.
Like: “Hmm, I didn’t know that before!” “Wow, I never thought about it that way!” “Damn, that changes everything…”
This is where learning happens. This is where people download new possibilities and desires ino their brains. This phase of is necessary for the 4th and final step to take place, which is…
FOURTH STEP: MOTIVATION
This is where people can act on their newfound insight or desire.
“Wow, if that’s possible, of course I’ll try this product!” “If that person did it, so can I. I’m signing up for this program.” “If, for the price of a couple lattes, I can feed a dozen hungry kids, that’s a no brainer.”
If you can create exploration and expansion.. AND then if you know how to create compelling motivation to act NOW (not tomorrow, not “when I have more time,” not “when I have all my ducks in a row…”), you will be scary-effective in getting people to part with their money.
Motivation is actually pretty simple, neurochemistry-wise. It has to do with pleasure, the anticipation of reward and the avoidance of pain.
Once again, a lot of people fail because they try to create that motivation without having taken the time to create genuine exploration and expansion.
People try do do it without having built robust trust + connection.
People try to do it without a lick of congruence.
All of those efforts WILL fail.
AND it will often be unethical.
—
A lot of people over-focus on one or two of these steps above, and ignore the rest. (Check which ones you tend to focus on, and which you tend to neglect.)
A lot of people get the sequence of these steps mixed up (trying to create motivation in others without checking your own congruence, for example.)
A lot of people are vaguely aware that they have a deficiency in one or more of these steps, but they are lacking the pragmatic action steps that can bridge the gaps.
This is why I created Simone’s Slumber Party — a one-stop shop for ALL of this.
I want you to understand the neuropsychology of marketing like never before, whether you’re selling a service, a product, or fundraising for a cause.
I want your next steps to be clear, logical, and effective.
I want it to be FUN for you to create new profitable habits in your brain.
I want you to do it all while feeling like you’re playing games and hanging out with your favorite people…
… and leave with enough inspiration, prompts and ideas to dramatically upgrade your marketing for the entire next year.