Questioner: Sometimes I feel like I’m REALLY writing with honesty, and I feel hella convicted and in flow in my writing. Yet, it doesn’t get the comments/shares to reflect it.

Now, I’m not concerned about vanity metrics truly, I just wanna know if I’m on the right track. Haha. Hope this makes sense.

Simone: If you feel hella convicted and in flow, that’s… the opposite of being so honest it scares you.

Questioner: I’m so confused. I thought being convicted and in flow was the whole point. So maybe this is not true?

Simone: What part of “be so honest you SCARE yourself” is confusing?

Questioner: Ok, so deep down the fear is = I sound all over the place. Why would people want to pay me for my service if I sound everywhere?

So I guess the real question goes back to the first one. Lol.

Simone: Scaring yourself with your honesty means pushing into those edges that genuinely scare you because it taps into a deeper fear you have.

Questioner: So I guess this goes back to dignified vulnerability, which you mentioned… and I’ll be looking forward to unpacking that. A part of me still feels the need to be seen as a coach/expert.

Simone: Yeah, you took my challenge and did the exact opposite of what I told you. If you’re feeling confident and in flow, that’s the opposite of the vulnerability that true honesty requires.

Questioner: This is what worries me, I think. How to be honest and real, equal, and still maintain the authority I need to lead and inspire. And get clients. Which I do need to pay my bills.

Simone: Yeah, this only seems like a contradiction if your authority comes from hierarchy (having something—expertise or having-your-shit-together-ness—that puts you “above” your clients).

Then you constantly have to defend and babysit your place in the hierarchy, lest your authority become threatened. When your authority to lead comes from the integration of your shadows (and therefore inner wholeness), then you never have to censor yourself, you’re completely equal to your clients, and your authority only expands with your dignified honesty.

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Reading this, another questioner reflected:

Questioner: I’ve had to read this about 8 times, and it’s just finally making sense to me.

That “I really know my shit here” feeling is actually NOT helping me—it’s a signal that I’m stuck in my safe zone. Is that it?

Simone: Well, it’s certainly not helping you push into those risky edges where alchemical gold lies!

If it helps, I never feel like I know what I’m doing. Being face-planted in humility is a daily experience, and that is actually where I derive my strength and authority from, I think.

Questioner: This is big, because I never saw a single coach saying they don’t know what they are doing!

Simone: I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing at ANY point, ever.

Questioner: Omg, I have the same feeling! It’s like constant experimenting! Is that what you mean too?

Simone: Yes… and I think as long as you’re dedicated to being a student of life and a servant of God (these are the words I use because I’m religious, but if you’re not, you can think of it as being, like, a part of the Universe), life is a never-ending feast of humble pie…

And that’s kind of the whole point, right? How else are you going to grow?

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This is part of a Q&A series regarding the Mini Truth or Dare Challenge. Read the rest:

What if I don’t know what my offer is?​

​Can you be fierce without alienating people?​

​How do I get vulnerable without getting unsolicited coaching?​

​Why is my honesty getting crickets?​

​How do I get started writing when in limbo?​

​Is creative expression a “must”?​

​“I’m okay with my clients hating me for a while, but not my audience!”​

​“I don’t want to sell too much, I want to be cool!”​

​Unfiltered truth vs. “pain point marketing”​

​I’ve been silent. Help, give me a dare!​

​I’m being vulnerable… so why am I invisible?​

​Why can’t I just do the damn thing?​

​Why would my target market listen if I’ve failed?